Birthday Day Times Two!!

Ten years???? Where did it go and where was I when it was passing me by? I know "they" say, "Enjoy it, it goes by so fast." But really, I had no idea!!

Here I sit this morning remembering where I was ten years ago today. I was scared out of my mind! My anxiety had the best of me. I had never before had a C-Section to have my baby and here it was happening to me. AND my sweet, steady husband was a wreck! So uncharacteristic of him... always the calm one, was suddenly nervous and worried about his sweetheart and his two sons being in an operating room. We made it to the hospital, covered in prayers and love and we were as ready as we would ever be to welcome these two little guys into our lives.
The delivery went as good as we could have prayed for, one of my little guys didn't breathe on his own right away and the other decided he really didn't want to come out just yet and had to be "forced" out (bet you can't guess which one that was???). When it was all done and I was in recovery I had but one goal in mind and that was to see and hold my boys! Oh, how that day seems like just yesterday... not in a proverbially way, really it feels like yesterday.

In these ten years, as a family, we have experienced so much. But these two boys have always been such a bright spot in our home. They truly did complete our family and officially made us a half-dozen family! Each one of them has strengths and they are so generous with them. Both of them are sweet and kind with soft and tender hearts. They are each other's best friend and their biggest cheerleader! And before you think we live in a perfect world (hahaha), they can also fight with each other better than anyone else too!! But at the end of the day, they love each other and they really are wonderful boys.
My heart is sadened a bit today, as I realize that my days of having babies and little boys in my house is coming to an end. But I am also excited and hopeful to see what God has in store for these boys as they become young men and more importantly, men who follow God. I know my mom would have loved to celebrate this day with us and I know she would be so proud of them, of us all.

Happy 10th Birthday sweet boys! You are so very loved and I am so humbled to have been choosen by God to be your mommy. Thank you for what you add to my life and those who have taken the time and the love to be invested in your lives. You both are truly a gift!

I love you both,

Mommy

Uncluttered

I was spending time with God this morning some while I was sitting still and reading the Word, some while I was hanging laundry outside in the sunshine... But I continually found myself asking Him to quiet my soul and help me to have more time and energy for the things and people in my life that are most important and most of all for more time with Him.

I sat down for my moring coffee and FB check and this song was in my newsfeed....

Coincidence? Nah, definitely a God Sighting!

Happy Monday friends, hugs to you <3

Fantastic Friday!

Dear Tummy,

Sorry for all the butterflies, its all ^ his fault! <3

Masterpiece

Ephesians 1:4 - " Even as, in his love, He chose us (actually picked us out for Himself as His own) in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even abovereproach, before Him in love."

Ephesians 2:10 - "For we are God's own Masterpiece (His handiwork) recreated in Christ Jesus..."

You have been chosen!

All of us have a desire to be loved and accepted. We work hard on our relationships here on earth and put great stock in what others think of us, at least I do. But this week while reading in Ephesians, I was smacked in the face with the reminder that even though God knows me best and knows all about me, I MEAN ALL ABOUT ME, He still chose me on purpose. He picked ME out to be His!

Not only was I chosen regardless of the mess I am and make of things, I am also told I am a Masterpiece... WHAT???? Looking in the mirror and at my heart, I can't say I have ever used the word Masterpeice to describe myself. But God does. I don't know alot about art, but what I do know is that Masterpieces take thought and time to create just so. It starts as a thought and keeps being played around with in the artists mind as to what it should look like, and the details... the shadings, and shapes, the colors and curves.. each detail needing special attention and time. Very few pieces of art are declaired a "Masterpiece" and yet scripture tells me that I am one.  So are you, my friend! God, the creator of all things, took special time, thought and attention on each detail of you to make you who you are. You are loved that much!

List maker..

I am a list maker. I love to make a list and check things off as I go. The sense of accomplishment that I get when I see those tasks crossed off is an emotional "high" and puts a smile on my face.

I have two lists going on this Monday morning. One is my task list that I have already begun crossing off as I go. The other is my prayer list and this morning, it is quite long. It contains lots of people who are very important to me and while I am a regular prayer person for people with requests, this morning is different.

Today, a sweet boy I know and love, is swearing into the United State Marine Corps with his mom and dad standing by and watching with pride and tears. My heart is hurting for them and full of pride along side them. I pray for his safety and for his well being. I miss him already.

A dear friend is fighting daily with cancer and my heart is heavy for her and her family and friends that are hurting.

A marriage is falling apart because selfishness has entered the scene and a man found "greener pastures" without responsibilites. This newly single mom is struggling while putting one foot in front of another for her child's sake.

My husband is out working hard, long hours while he is tired. I pray for his safety and for his spirit to stay uplifted. I thank God for him and all that he does for us and what he is to me!

My children. This is a big one. My heart is hurting lots these days. A mother's heart is not meant to be trampled on, yet it will take it over and over again and continue to love. I am asking God specifically this morning to guard my heart and my tongue today.

Genuinly hurting people, whether it be personal choices or by no hand of their own. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually hurting people.

With all of that being said, I am thankful this morning to have a Heavenly Father to lay these requests before and know that He is hearing me and listening to His child's pain and cries. While I will never understand why these things happen to people, I do know that something good and for the glory of God will come of all of these situations.

In the mean time, this list will remain untouched with my Sharpie marker, for now...

A brand new year...

No your calendar isn't wrong, it isn't January. Its August, one of my favorite months of the year. Since its my birthday this week, I spent some time reflecting and thinking about the past and the future and I am ready to make some changes!

Some of these changes are going to be smooth and easy while others might be more painful both for me and maybe even others around me. I want to be a REAL Jesus girl! Both real in my pains and journey and in my JOY! Making time for the people in my life that WANT to be REAL. I intend to spend more time with my daughter as she starts her journey out of my nest. I want to be at all my son's sporting events and be the loudest cheerleader there so they hear my voice in the stands above everyone else. I want to have time to sit, LISTEN and talk with my freshman son when he gets home and has stuff to share about his day I want to spend more time romancing my boyfriend of almost twenty years. When he reaches for my hand or to wrap me in his arms, I won't pull away to get back to cooking dinner or the kids are asking for me. Instead I will pause and relish the moment and enjoy the tingle and the butterflies he still gives me after all these years! I want to feel more passionately and love more completely. I want to be more spontaneous and "in the moment". I intend to let the over one hundred little ones that God has entrusted to me every Sunday morning to know that I love them and I know they are special because GOD SAYS SO! I will smile more when I am truly happy, looking for the blessings that I receive EVERY day as the gift that they are. I will cry and share when I am sad and hurting with those who truly ask and love me. I will spend time with my Jesus more than just once a day and work on making my time with Him relational and not just to say "there I did it, check".

So, changes are coming and if you my reader would do me a favor? Remind me of this post from time to time and check in and see how my changes are going? I'm sure I'll have lots to share! Happy Birthday to Me!

Hugs!

Saturday morning...

Its a rare Saturday that I have time to myself. With four active kids, a sweetheart, a home to clean, and a job that I love... rarely do I get the moment on a Saturday to be all by myself. Blessed to have just a few hours to myself this week, I headed to my local coffee shop and as I sat down with my latte in the front window, I found myself sitting and watching people. The small family that came in excited to get "treats" both mom and dad as well as the kids :) The student working hard on the laptop. So many people coming and going on this weekend morning... busy, busy! The scene in front of me was the one that caused me to pause and actually start my blogging. Directly in front of me on the sidewalk this is what I see at the table:

There's a sweet, older couple sitting enjoying their coffee with each other on the sidewalk but its obvious that they are enjoying each other and their time together much more! They share laughter and smiles and they so casually reach for the other's hand from time to time and its like they have done this a million and one times a day. They have caused me to smile and my heart to swell this whole time that I have been watching their dance that they call "life".

What I love best about this is its like looking into my future... its like watching Frank and I from a distance and I am so excited to get there! To spend time with the love of my life is my favorite thing to do and I can't wait to grow old with him.

Happy Saturday friends!

Time Marches On....

..........marches on or runs at top speed past me? Hmmm not sure but either way it got away from me!Once again, my blogging took a back seat and I was simply unable to get things happening put into my writings and thoughts for you my friends and readers. To you S, my far away friend, know that I was trying to keep you connected by pictures and quick texts but I know you enjoy my writings more and I will do my best to catch you up quickly!


Let's see my last post was in April.... What has happened in our lives since then? Quick recap...


May brought a lot of spring sports for my blessings.... Kendra played varsity softball for the high school team. What a joy it is to watch her becoming a better athlete as the years go by. Even in pain, she gives it 100%, she is a picture of perseverance! Austin played on the Jr.High Baseball team and his team went undefeated and won the Championship game. He loves the game and continues to grow now past all of his family and most of his friends too :) Colby played recreational baseball for the second year and seems to be really getting the hang of the sport. Its fun to watch the twins developing their own interests! Cam played soccer with his best friend and really loved it! He sees himself as a really good player and his confidence is growing by the season. He is a wonderful sport and always congratulates and encourages his team mates. Saturday mornings were a treat for me too, I was able to spend each Saturday catching up with my friend over coffee and soccer! It was truly the highlight of my week. Vacation Bible School and meetings for that quickly started taking up lots of my time at work and at home. We finished our school year strong and were looking forward to longer days and evenings.



June brought us with lots of VBS work and meetings. We took time to celebrate Father's Day with my sweetheart and after some saving and extra work, we were able to spoil him and get him a flat screen TV! It was exciting for the kids and I to do this for the man we love so much and to let him know how much we love him and his hard work for our family! We took off and spent the day after church at Popham Beach with him and had a wonderful day just simply together.

July was ALL about VBS! It was by far one of the most amazing weeks I have ever experienced. Watching my specific prayers answered one by one. From great weather, to unity in workers, to enough supplies for the ever growing number of children that came to our church. Our highest day was 255 kids and I was over the top excited! God showed Himself in a big way and my life was touched and changed in a GREAT way! We also celebrated our oldest son's 14th birthday and had a lot of friends and family here to celebrate him. Austin is such a happy kid and a real joy in my life! He is getting ready to stretch out and leave the safety of our home and enter High School in just 4 weeks. Hard to believe but he is oh so ready!

So here we are in August. We have some day trips planned and some down time ahead of us before the school year gets here. Together with those I love most are now in my radar and whether its the six of us, just some of us, two of us out having dinner and drinks with our friends, or two families out enjoying a ball game or a day at the coast, its sure to be a great month and I am once again counting my blessings!

Hugs!

Thankful Thursday!

Yup, I missed it... my weekly Multitude on Monday post... so I am improvising with Thankful Thursday this week!

Having just celebrated Resurrection Sunday, I know we have lots to be thankful for. We had a busy, but really great weekend. The Faith Kidz Choir performed on Easter Sunday, and they did so wonderful! To watch these kids sing their hearts out, in complete adoration and worship of our Heavenly Father, caused me to tear up more than once and my heart was bursting with pride!

Easter dinner was spent with family and lifelong friends. As I looked around the table, I quickly mentioned to myself one thing about each of them that has impacted my life. Some caused me to pause longer than others, like when I looked at my husband. As he grabbed my hand under the table and gave me that squeeze that still makes my heart beat fast, I quickly thought about that first time we held hands at my parents house under the table. How time has changed us both, but how it stands still sometimes too. I paused while looking at my daughter. This woman who is smiling again and bringing joy to my life like she has done so many times in our life together. We have had a tough few months while she grows and stretches herself and I learn to step back and give her the room to do it. The love I have for her is uncompared to any other love I have for anyone. Each and every one at that table, had such a huge part of my life. Thankful didn't begin to describe my feelings right then and there.

Still not sure how I have been so blessed in this lifetime, but I know that I am and I have spent many moments with God thanking Him over and over again. The blessings are overflowing and I am loving having a weekly accounting of what those blessings look like! Thanks for reading along...

Hugs!

#74... spring flowers

#75... quiet time

#76... my daughters smile

#77... sunshine and warmth

#78... exercise

#79... new makeup :)

#80... My Jesus

Multitudes on Monday

As Easter and Resurrection is fast approaching, I find myself thinking often about that time in our history. My heart and mind fill with thoughts and feelings about that day of crucifixion. Because of my mommas heart, I can't help but think about Jesus' mom, Mary. I think about how she must have felt watching her son being treated the way He was, how her heart must have been breaking into millions of pieces. As a mother, she must have wanted to defend her son and take on all those people who were beating him and cursing him, and yet she could do nothing, knowing her son was doing the Lord's will, what he was born on this earth to do. When I think about her, my heart breaks for her. How she must have hurt so badly and how hopeless she must have felt! I think about what a wonderful woman of God she was. How her personality was created long before Jesus' birth, knitted her mother's womb, with the soul purpose of being able to hurt for her son but not actually be able to do anything about it other than to weep. She had a faith and was certain that while she didn't understand the why or the ration behind the act, that God was not allowing anything to happen to her that He hadn't equipped her to deal with. I am so in awe of this wonderfully equipped woman of God!

I am working on that myself.. getting up each morning and telling myself that God isn't going to allow anything to happen in my life that He hasn't equipped me to handle. Some days I do better than others. Other days, I question my strength and abilities to deal with the smallest of issues. I look at other people, women in particular, and am awed by how Godly and in control they seem to be and Satan loves to use that to second guess and feel awful about myself. Then I am reminded that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made". God made me with a purpose exactly as I am! So He also knows what I can handle and what I can accomplish, when I allow Him to do it and not rely on myself.

Thank you God for loving me enough to give up your Son for me and my wickedness. Your gift is beyond my ability to comprehend, but I am eternally grateful!

Hugs!

#66... Warm sunshine

#67... Time on my front porch enjoying the sun and the quiet first thing in the morning

#68... The smell of little boys hair when they have been outside playing in the sun

#69... Surprises from my boys

#70... a healthy marriage

#71... Conferences and new ideas

#72... Laughter and new adventures

#73... conversations with those who know me best without speaking a word

Multitudes on Monday

So one person CAN change your whole mood and attitude! Why do I let that happen to me? Do you? As of late, I have purposely been working on my heart and attitude. Ok, well, I have lots to work on but I really am trying :) It seems however that the harder I try working on it, the harder there are people around me working at sharing their "not so sunny" dispositions with me :( It doesn't have to be someone I even know by name. You know them, the man who pulled out in front of you while you were driving and then looked at you like you were crazy. The person working at the grocery store who is so mad that she has to ring you up when she was just told she can go on break but YOU had put your groceries on the belt first. The lovely librarian whom you asked to look up a book for you and you have just interrupted their visiting time with their friend on the phone. You've met them too, haven't you? Worse than that, is the people we do know by name, because that means we are invested in them. Our friends, co-workers, and family... for me, that is the worst. Mostly because I love them, I want them to be happy and never upset, sad, or mad. Yeah ok, I know impossible, but if I could make it happen, I would! So when one of them is not happy, neither am I. Even when I try, it just doesn't happen. The worst of it all, is when Frank is unhappy. And that is where we have been as of late.... so while I have been working on my heart and attitude, its been a struggle for me.. because we have been "off". Nothing is wrong but when we are "off" my attitude is really yucky! We are busy and don't have much time together, he is working 7 days a week for the last 18 months and he is tired and frustrated with that, our kids have had some issues as of late and so we have had to deal with that, and while all that is going on he is trying hard to stay involved in his commitments at our church and help out friends and family when needed. So, needless to say, he is tired and cranky and its making me that way too! So, in true Janet fashion, how do you fix this... well of course I get cranky even when I started out in a good mood. I start feeding the fire with the fuel of "He has time and energy for everyone BUT me". "He can be available for his job but when it comes to me, oh no too tired", " He can laugh and fool around with his friends but oh no, not me... I get the yawns, the heavy eyes, and the complaints of the day". Ugh, who is that nasty woman? Yup, its me... sadly. Now before I go into heavy depression about my screw ups and believe me girls, there are plenty, let me tell you this... I love and admire my husband and think he is the MOST amazing man on this earth. The "problem" with that though is I want him to always be happy and energetic when it comes to me and that isn't even reasonable. He knows I love him and so around me, he feels safe and comfortable to let his guard down and just relax, to rest and to share his issues of the day. This is a compliment if I would just take it that way. So, this week I challenge myself to pray harder for this wonderful man of mine, to have enough done that he can just come home and sit and rest, and to encourage him to get to bed earlier and ask God to give him the sleep and rest that he needs to go on another day. AND honestly to ask God to take out that feeling of insecurity I get when Frank is feeling like he is and remember it is not about ME! Can you pray for me too? Hugs! #59... new memories with my best girlfriend for her birthday ( "I thought it was a wrap for my hair") LOL #60... God's timely provisions for our family #61... healthy children #62... spring sports for the kids ( I love to watch them play!) #63... evening walks outside #64... birds singing outside my window to announce the sun has risen and its time to start my day #65... my quiet time before the kids are up.. my comfy chair, my coffee and my Jesus... {{sigh}}

Mother Knows Best...

I have found myself in a new season of life, letting go.... watching my little girl start to live her life less me and her dad. Wow, is this ever harder than I ever thought it could be!! I am trying my hardest to have faith and not fear in what I have taught her and brought her up to be. I just love her so much and want to keep any harm and hurt far from her. The last two months have been hard on us both as we continue to "grow up" together. The bottom line is, this Disney song describes me perfectly (insert laugh here) and per my little girls request... I am posting it. Love to you my Boo <3

Multitudes on Monday

Monday already? How fast can a week go by? In my crazy life, apparently pretty fast... I am trying to hang on for this ride but some weeks it just gets away from me and I end up looking a whole like this:

Its not uncommon for us as woman to perfect our juggling acts.. making sure all the people in our lives are happy, healthy, clothed, clean, and where they need to be. I for one, can get so caught up in it all, that I forget to take care of myself. I know, most of us do, but sometimes I really forget to stop even for a moment and catch my breath. So, this past two weeks I have worked specifically on just that, catching my breath. Interestingly enough, I am starting to feel better. Not sure if its the weather changing (although we did have a snowstorm on Friday), the time I am taking to do Yoga, the time I am spending with my best friend, or that finally giving more of myself to God and letting him sort through my "stuff" for me, but all in all, even though most of my "stuff" hasn't changed at all, I feel better!

So, my readers and friends, take some time for YOU this week. Even if its just a few minutes a day, take the time. I think you will be surprised what it will do for your whole situation. AND all those things and people that you take care of day in and day out, will thank you too... you'll be a happier and more relaxed woman and we owe that to them don't we? Hugs, Janet

#52... flowers, fresh cut flowers for no reason at all just because...

#53... nerf dart wars in our home.. actually the giggles it produces

#54... pleasure reading time

#55... hot showers at the end of a good workout

#56... yoga

#57... 2 Timothy 3:16 - thankful for correction and guidance

#58... my hard working husband <3

Blessings

This song means so much to me these days... I pray it touches you today too <3

Multitudes on Monday

Det. 2:3

" You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn North."

Seems like I have been circling for well over two months now. I am ready to be done and turn "North" or up, so to say. Most of you know that I have been working my way through the Made to Crave book and study. I have to say, that this is one of the best studies/ self help books I have read in a long time, if not ever. I have really taken a liking to the author Lysa Terkeurst, and feel like she knows me, personally. She is real, to the point, full of empathy and understanding, yet can hammer you over the head with God's truth in such a way, that you get it and get fired up and ready to make changes in your life. Really, if you haven't heard of Lysa or read anything from her, I encourage you to, I think you will love her too!

Back to my circling... there are some messes in my life. Yup, messes.. not something this girl likes to have. I am most content when everything is neat and tidy and when it isn't, not only is there a mess but I am one too. Praise God that He knows about our messes and love us in spite of them and just the same!! Yesterday, I was visiting Lysa's blog and she spoke specifically about messes. She challenged me with this thought:

• Am I letting the mess define me or refine me?

If they are defining me - I will feel helpless....

If they are refining me - I will feel hopeful....

There it was my "Ahha moment" Why am I allowing these things to define me instead of refining me? I know God allows things to happen in our lives to bring us to Him to be REFINED... why haven't I been letting Him? I have been consumed with the mess instead of what God is teaching me through the mess. Ok, I read it, hear it, and now I am going to try to apply it...

Here's to turning North (up)!

Continuing in my multitudes of blessings for the year:

#45... a yellow rose plant that appeared at my office door from an unknown friend

#46... arms from a nine year old boy that find their way to my face to have me look him in the eyes while he tells me I am his best friend and he loves me most

#47... the thirteen year old young man who is so very protective of this mom and her feelings

#48... broken relationships (yup I said broken) allowing God to fix it in his time, not mine

#49... tanning beds :) here's to sunshine, quiet, and 15 minutes to myself in a locked room!

#50... for the first time that I can remember NOT turning to food to fix my messes

#51... Whipped Cream ;)

Hugs!

How this spoke to me

I saw this quote today and I love it!

"God already knows what my tomorrow will be, it will not catch Him off guard.

It has been well said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day.

It is when tomorrow's burden is added to the burden of today that the weight

Is more than any man can bare.

Never load yourselves so, my friends. If you find yourselves so loaded, remember this:

It is your own doing, not God's. He begs you to leave the future to Him,

And mind the present." ~ George Macdonald

Thank you Lord for already knowing.....

Real....

Yeah, so I missed it... what's a girl to do now? What did I miss you ask? I missed posting on Monday my thankful post Multitudes on Monday. Truth is, I have been really having a hard time finding things to be thankful about. I try hard to find them, really I do... but when I am consumed by pain and hurt both in my own life and those I love. Don't get me wrong, I know God is still blessing me in spite of what is going on in my life.. but focusing on the blessings and actually acknowledging them here with you on my blog is just really hard right now and that my readers is real.
Praying that next Monday will find me in a much more thankful frame of mind and spirit!

Multitudes on Monday

Happy Monday friends! This is said with a smile and a cheery voice just from my laptop to you! Not because I am feeling especially "Pollyanna" like today, but because I think we need to be encouraged by each other and so this is me doing my part.


(Mud bath!!)

This past week has been messy! No other way to put it but that... messy. Emotionally, physically, spiritually.. yeah we had it all. However, God is still in control and is still suspending the sun in the day sky and the stars in the night. There can be such a comfort in that if we would just take a breath and process that. That same God loves me, my husband, and my kids far more than this momma's heart can so when I am hurting, that God hurts too but knows there is so much more to the picture than what I can see in front of me and THAT is what I have to rest in. A close friend of mine told me yesterday, that in three months from now we won't even be giving this day a second thought. Just three months! Sure, there might be some repercussions still but the pain, panic, and heavy-heartedness of that moment will be gone and joy will have been found again in the in-between. AND I have decided to pray specifically that it would have made me stronger and more grown up in my relationships in all aspects.

In the mean time, I am still counting my multitudes of blessings and even with ALL that I have had going on, there were plenty to be found and more than once I was vocalizing my thanks to the God who gives more than this Jesus girl deserves in this lifetime!

#38... the way the Body works together to help one another

#39... while cooking dinner, the strong arms that wrap around me and make me feel 17 again

#40... piles of laundry because it means my house is full of people I love

#41... a working furnace even after having had a mud bath

#42... the small patches of bare ground that is starting to show itself from under the snow banks

#43... the three sensitive hearts of the young men that have been given to me to raise

#44... daylight savings... while I am struggling with the change in time.. I am loving the longer amounts of daylight

Hugs!

Multitudes on Monday

I missed last week being able to share with you the stuff going on here in the Punkinpatch. Our family has had one thing after another for the past two weeks and that has kept me from being able to sit and blog, and to be honest I was really having to purposely look for those multitudes of blessings. I never doubted that they were there, but when you are down in the mud and grim of life, its hard to have the energy to look for them and to recognize them.

If you had listened hard enough, you might have heard this sound in our home last week. Heart break was abundant here and it resonated itself from my husband and I completely down to the twins. All different reasons, but none the less, it was there and it seemed when I listened hard enough I could really hear the sound of breaking glass.

How this put into perspective once again for me what our decisions and lack of self control do to our Heavenly Father! When I think of the times that I do my own thing, say things before I think, and have lack of regard for how my actions might offend someone else... I am so very thankful once again for God's grace, because I certainly don't deserve it! As a parent in a rough patch right now, I can only try to execute a minuet amount of the grace that God shows upon me to our child and pray that through this, she too might become ever thankful for the grace of the One who loves her most.

People keep telling me this is only a season in my life and one day I will look back at it and see how we all have handled it and grown, for now I will continue to fall into the arms of my Heavenly Father and lay on the chest of my earthly husband and know that they do have my best interest and will catch me when I can't stand on my own any longer.....

Hugs!

#30... a warm home

#31... singing with 30 children in preparation for the upcoming Easter season

#32... people who speak the truth in love

#33... technology that allows me to have people in my life when it isn't possible to be sitting next to each other

#34... new recipes and ideas

#35... a giving and self-less husband

#36... my sister

#37... christian radio and music

Laughter

Such a wonderful gift... the people or events in your life that make you laugh! Even when I don't really feel like it, laughing is a wonderful feeling. You can't be angry and laugh at the same time.... you can't be sad and laugh at the same time... you can't cry and laugh at the same time unless the tears are from laughing so hard of course! The sound of laughter alone is enough to make me laugh. My children's laughter is one of my favorite sounds in this whole world. A fast cure to a bad day is a friend who can share something with me to make me laugh. One of the things I love most about my sweetheart is he knows how to make me laugh and I love laughing with him. I have great friends that my best memories of spending time with them is in side-splitting laughter sometimes over dinner in a local restaurant or over coffee or at our home playing a driving game on a video game system! Laughter is a wonderful thing, and I feel so blessed when I am laughing and with those I love most!

Hugs!

Multitudes on Monday

Gratefulness is abundant in my heart today! If you follow my blog regularly, you know that last week was a tough week for me full of highs and lows. I prayed hard this weekend that this would be a week where I would have some relief of some of the heaviness that I had been having and experience some joy-filled moments. Once again, my Jesus answered me in a big way today. My sweetheart had the day off today to spend with us. You see, he NEVER has a day off with us. God has blessed our family with a hard working man who knows his role is to be our provider and protector doing whatever it takes to take care of us, my hero and my man, he has great integrity and honesty and people know they can count on him.. especially me. Due to Presidents Day, he had today off and what a joy there was in our home to have Daddy home with us.

The day started at 9:00am for me.... yeah that's right I slept in our bed until 9:00am!! That's the latest I have slept in such a long time that I don't remember the last time. He was up spending time with the boys while I slept. Then he made us a wonderful and BIG breakfast! Pancakes, turkey bacon, eggs, and hash browns covered our dining room table and the smiles from our family were just as big. Then, yes ladies he is totally taken (insert grin here), he cleaned the kitchen and dining room up for me while I showered and actually shaved my legs without one of the boys even once knocking on the door to see if I was done YET???!

We took the boys bowling and had such a great time playing with our children. What fun there is to get out of the house and do something like that... with Daddy! And my sweetie and I had a little competitive "wager" on who would win the second game and well lets just say I will be enjoying a nice long back massage tonight ;)

He took us to Starbucks for my favorite drink treat and because I knew the trivia question answer, I received a shot of espresso in my latte FREE... oh yeah! Then we returned home, it was card games with the boys that brought more laughter, smiles and fun. Dinner was a success and some good old fashioned wrestling and horse play was had by all the boys while I watched and hoped this moment in time would remain in my mind forever.

Such a great Monday and my prayers have been answered... for today my heart is full of contentment and gratitude and there is no heaviness to be found. Only love and thankfulness here! Thank you Lord for your gifts and blessings on me!

#24... the way my husband fathers our sons, teaching them to be men among men

#25... Starbucks, oh how I love thee

#26... a card sent to me with a gift card to my favorite book store with instructions on spending time on and with myself

#27... makeup and lotions

#28... laughter and private moments with a girlfriend who knows me well enough to know that is what was needed to make the hurt, hurt a little less

#29... Proverbs 31 and LT :)

Hugs!

Week of emotional lows and highs....

I started the week thinking of only her and what I am missing and what SHE has been missing out on...



Then I was extremely happy just days later when we celebrated Austin and his team with this....





Yeah, that's him. the handsome one fourth in from the left side! He and his team were the league champions with a completely undefeated team :) Yes, I am absoulutely one proud momma!





Then I had to pack up and send my sweetie off for the weekend for a youth group staff retreat and the sadness returned. See, we don't travel for business or without each other so I was not happy. I am thrilled that he is involved with the teens of our church but I missed him terribly. I am not made to be on my own, I am made to be beside him in this life and when we aren't together, there is definitely something missing.... So, when he walked through the door today to me, my heart skipped a beat and I felt happy again (he does that to me still after all these years!).

Needless to say, I am looking forward to a more "even" week this week! What does your week look like?

Hugs!

Multitudes on Monday

Happy Valentines Day to you my readers! Valentines Day isn't one of my favorite days but regardless I do love my husband, my children, my sister and brother in love, and my friends. So in that light, I can wish you all a Happy Valentines Day! Most of you know this already, but for those followers and readers I have picked up by blogging, then let me set it straight for you that I am not a romance killer or anything of the like... actually quite the opposite. My sweetheart would tell you quite the opposite, I am a die-hard romantic and often should be swept away to a much more romantic period in time. That being said, I will tell you that I lost my very best friend and mom on Valentines day.. that was the day she went to heaven to be with the true lover of her soul, Jesus. So you can only imagine that this day has lost its fun and love for me. Among the pain and the sadness though there are blessing to be found and counted and I am happy to be able to share them even though my heart isn't feeling so grateful today.

#18... the sensitive spirits of my son , who cries because his momma is just so sad

#19... warmer temperatures reminding me that a new season is coming soon

#20... longer hours of daylight. Very helpful to someone who suffers from seasonal depression

#21... that I didn't turn to food for my comfort, instead turned to my husband, my friends and my Jesus to carry me through. This is the first time I can say I have done that.

#22... wonderful and vivid memories of my mom.

#23... regardless of the pain, a peace that began the day mom went to be with her Savior to this day, that I will see her again and cannot wait to run into her arms

XOXO - Happy Valentine's Day!

Multitudes on Monday

I so enjoy this time of reflection over a week of blessings! But I do need to be honest with all of you my readers and let you know this week was not a great week for me in most ways but clearly God held this daughter of His closely, and I rested in His arms for most of this week and am continuing my stay for a while. He truly is holding and catching every tear that I have cried these days and I know He must hurt for me as only a parent can when we see our own children hurting. I also learned this week that the old saying of "God never gives us more than we can handle" is one of the most false statements ever to be said. You see God purposely gives us more than we can handle so that we can turn to Him to help us, to guide us and to even carry us when we can no longer do it ourselves. What an eye opener for me! All this time I have been convinced that I have been given things to handle because God sees me as this strong person who can just keep handling everything that He gives me... piling and piling one thing on top of another. I joke with my sweetie and those closest to me, "God must have me confused with another Janet Johnson!" Lol... no, He just needed me to see that I have a lesson to learn and that is that He keeps giving me things hoping that I will lean on Him to help me through it and not just handle it all on my own. Have I told you before that I am a really slow learner? What about you? What has God revealed to you this week?

#12... memories of my best friend, my mom

#13... having 120 kids in my life on a weekly basis

#14... reading my boys writing journals

#15... cooking and baking in our home

#16... the way snow looks first thing on a sunny morning.. all sparkling and shiny

#17... new levels of energy and joy in spite of the time and season I am in

Hugs!

Oh yeah....

I received this email yesterday and let me tell you, this momma's heart was so very full.....



Kendra Johnson to me show details Feb 1 (1 day ago)

Good morning beautiful! I just wanted to say how proud I am of you and how happy I am for you and your new healthy lifestyle! You are looking so good and just seem happier lately! I know that you probably feel like I don't always want to spend time with the family but thats not true at all! I love you all I have just been trying to spend some time with some other friends! :) I love you all so much and I love you more than anything! Your the best mom love you tons! Keep up the good work :)
<3 Boo


Its things like this that let this mom know that when the rest of the world is falling apart or things feel so very big and overwhelming, these are the things and people that matter!

Multitudes on Monday

What a treat it has been to sit and not just seek but CRAVE the many gifts that God is sending my way now that I am asking Him to show me even in my everyday life! This season in my life is one of wonder and awe... I feel like a small child in school and can't get enough of the things I am learning. Part of me feels infantile and weak, but I know that is Satan working at trying his best to keep me from the truth. The other part of me is wanting to sit and listen and read and dwell in His presence all while feeling like He is sitting right there in the living room beside me. Really, is it any wonder I can't get enough of that? God's timing is perfect and I am so pleased that at this time, a time I morn the loss of my friend, my mom; that He is closer to me than I can remember and for that I am so counting my blessings!

#12... being able to buy 2 size smaller jeans!

#13... creativity... both mine and those around me

#14... technology

#15... answered prayers for friends and family

#16... peace

#17... children who truly are hiding God's Word in their hearts

#18... grace.. God's mostly, but also those who I have wronged or offended and their ability to show grace to me. Also, my ability to exercise it on those I love and care about and want to show Jesus to.

Hugs to you while you seek out your own multitudes of blessings this week!

February

For those who know me best, you know that February is a very hard month for me. For those who don't know me that well, I will tell you that this is the month I lost my best friend, my momma. It's also her birthday month so while the tears are also married with good memories and smiles, I miss her so very much! This was her favorite song of all time, and when ever I hear it, I think of her and the tears flow. A woman of great faith and determination and she truly believed that her God was a Big God who could do anything and I know she is with Him now watching over the sparrows too! I hope you too enjoy Sandi Patty singing this beautiful song she loved so much!

Multitudes on Monday

We are back here to Monday again and I am really enjoying looking for the gifts God keeps giving to me when I really take the time to look for them and not just take things for granted. Again if you haven't had the chance to check out Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience, I really encourage you to, right now! No, really now is good :) She is such a talented writer and I am just awed by her and her heart as a Jesus girl. I received her book today One Thousand Gifts in the mail and I am so excited to get started on it tonight when I snuggle down into our nice warm bed. Your blessings are there, I promise. You just have to look for them. God is so good to us and loves us so much and He lavishes Himself upon us. He could have had the rocks cry out in praise but He chose YOU and ME! He wants us to see our gifts and be thankful out LOUD! Girlfriend, get busy looking around you and get LOUD in thankfulness

#6... Christian Radio... I listen to it no matter where I am, home. car, work wherever and I am so blessed by it.

#7... My electric blanket... I know trival, but when I snuggle down into our bed and it is all warm and toasty, I am thankful!

#8... Soft and sensitive spirits. Many people are surrounding me at this time in my life that are filled with soft, sweet and sensitive spirits and for that I am very thankful

#9... Renewed Relationships

#10... New books! Thank you Ann for writting and publishing your newest child in the form of a book :)

#11... Lysa T

Hugs to you as you count your gifts this week!

This is the stuff....

If you're at all like me, you can so relate my friends!!

Multitudes on Monday

I have been hanging out, having coffee, and getting to know this beautiful woman at this blog http://www.aholyexperience.com/ for about a year now. I love her. I love her writing. I love how she makes me look deep into my heart and examine it. I love how she makes me laugh and cry with the same read. I just really enjoy this blog, more than most! So, I have decided to join her and other bloggers in the Multitudes on Monday blog posting. Its a chance to share our multitude of blessings that we are experiencing in our everyday lives. So my intention is to blog every Monday a few of the gifts and blessings I have experienced during the week. Look around and see what God has blessed you with this week. Leave a comment below and share some of them with me!

#1... coffee! I enjoy my cups of coffee with my Jesus, my friends, and by myself

#2... My husbands hands. They are rough and cracked from hard work, but the most gentle hands I have ever seen. The way he holds my hand in his....

#3... Blogs. Inspirational, funny, thought provoking, heart searching, educational.. I love reading others blogs.

#4... little boys (mine anyway). The love from them is enough to charge me for a whole day.

#5... Teen love. It reminds me of where Frank and I started and reassures me that love can last a lifetime!

Once upon a time....

I am a sucker for a good romantic story, so when I was rethinking the last 48 hours of my life, it sounded something like this:

"Once Upon a Time, there was a man who worked so very hard day in and day out. Seven days a week he worked for those he loved most, his bride of almost seventeen years, his only daughter, and his three knights in training. While the loves of his life missed him dearly while he was away, they loved him so very much for being a man of integrity, hard working, and dependable, knowing it was for them that he had the rough hands and aches and pains that he wore very much like the ratted jeans he stepped into each morning on his way out the door. On this particular day that starts the new week, he arose early to assist his bride on her job that takes her away from their home a couple of days a week. He takes care to be sure she is all set, from making sure she has food to making sure her coffee is just right. They work side by side without anything verbalized. You see when you know someone as long as these two do, no words need to be spoken. Glances, body language, and love speak louder than any words ever could. He heads off to his second place of employment and works long, hard hours in the cold air. His job requires him to be in the cold air and work with water all while having a smile on that handsome face and being a pleasure to all he comes in contact with. After his time card has been documented and his feet are placed into his ride to home, he heads to the grocery store to pick up a few items his bride asked him to so that she could be at their home, staying warm and snuggling with the three knights in training. It seems to her that it is a long time before he arrives, but he does and her heart beats a little faster when she hears his footsteps in the doorway. He arrives like a little boy all tired and dirty from working hard out in the elements of weather and from it being the beginning of the week but having had no time off to rest. He bring her a card telling her how proud he is of her and how much he loves her and thinks of her through out the day. Her heart melts and for a brief moment they are seventeen and eighteen again.
The following morning, life is back to more of the same. He arises and pulls on those jeans and wears the aches and pains once again. His face is both sad and happy at the same time. Sad to leave those he loves most again, yet happy that he is blessed enough to have a house full of love. He heads out the door and kisses her with a kiss that lasts all day long, on purpose, he needs her to know there will be another for her when he returns later on after the sun has set. He meets up with her at their eldest knight in trainings basketball game and in a crowd of people, his eyes meet hers and she is the only person in the whole gymnasium. He cheers for his son with pride and when the game has been won and is complete, they head to their home and settle in for a cozy evening. However, the youngest of the knights, is weepy and pale. He lays on his mother, this mans bride, and he is worried about this young man. The youngest lays between the two people he knows love him most and this man who has worked so hard for so many days partners with her and takes care of him regardless of how very tired his bones and earthly body are. Their glances meet and love is exchanged. While she holds her youngest in her arms, the man places his hand on her arm to let her know, he is worried too but believes in his Father who loves him more than even she does. The night is long and there are many tears but the sun rises with a resting knight and his momma sleeping and the man again puts on his ratted jeans and aches and pains and heads out of the door. Life continues and time wears on him but he is oh so blessed and in love with his bride of almost seventeen years."

This story is still being written and I pray there are so many more chapters to this book. The point of my story is this. Romance wears many faces. From the card for no reason to holding a bowl for the youngest child while he is sick. I love him and I can't imagine my life without him walking beside me and carrying me when I need it most. I love you sweetheart!

Reviewing 2010 and Looking Forward to 2011

How did it happen that I didn't update my blog since October 2010? I just looked back at my blog drafts and I had 12 drafts that I didn't get to finish between my last blog and today....I think life has had me pretty busy, don't you? So, to make this post not too long but in order to catch all of my readers up to date on our lives, I am going to do a brief listing of what we have been up to since the end of October and then let you know some of the things I am looking forward to in 2011.

Since October I/we have:

• My sweet husband gave me my Christmas present early and sent me away on a mommy-break with one of my best girlfriends to New York City! It was the best gift he could have given me this year. We did all the typical "touristy" stuff, saw the sights, did the shopping, and the eating. We saw Mary Poppins on Broadway, my sweet friends life-long dream and made our way over to Carlos Bakery in New Jersey, home of the TLC show Cake Boss... a dream of mine for a long time! This was a trip I will never forget and am oh so grateful to have experienced it with one of the most wonderful girls I know. Thank you sweetheart for knowing just what I needed even more than I did!
• At the end of this trip, this same girlfriend and I joined other women from our church and I attended my first Women of Faith Conference in Hartford, CT. What an amazing experience this was! I laughed, cried, had my heart broken only to have God start healing it, and got to know some women from my own church that I didn't know well at all. The speakers were amazing and the worship team that lead over 10,000 women in praise and worship songs was the most amazing thing I have ever been apart of. I can only imagine what Heaven will be like! I know this was not the only WOF conference I will have attended in my lifetime, that's for sure!
• We celebrated Thanksgiving in our home in Vassalboro for the first time. What a blessing to have our family and close friends here with us. We had lots of room for everyone to hang out and play games and it was such a great meal. The family time was the best and most important part and the memories made will last a lifetime!
• Just after Thanksgiving, I weighed in twenty-five pounds less than I was in September.
• We decorated our home for Christmas right after Thanksgiving. We had 5 Christmas trees and soft white lights lighted our home most days and evenings well into the New Year. We had get-togethers with friends and family over the holidays and enjoyed getting to know each other better and celebrate the true meaning of CHRISTmas!
• 2010 came to a close with a huge get-together with lots of friends and family! New Years Eve was a home full of special people sharing good food, laughter, games and memories of the past year. It couldn't have ended any better than being kissed by the boy turned man who has had my heart for the past twenty years

So, that brings us current. Let me list a few things I am looking forward to and some goals for me for 2011....

• Every other month, inviting friends over to our home to share dinner with us and get to know them better.
• Blogging at least twice a week
• Monthly date nights with my boyfriend
• Watching our children grow and move into new areas of life this coming year
• Continuing to get physically healthy! Being a lighter weight, buying smaller clothes, and actually running on the roads this spring.
• Starting a new Bible Study
• Learning contentment... in all things

Thank you all for your friendship and love that you have shown to me and my family this past year! We are so blessed by knowing all of you and we are excited to see what happens with all of you this coming year! Happy New Year!!!