Monday, June 29, 2009

Bountiful Blessings~

This past week had lots of ups and downs but blessings exist if we look for them!

~ My girl getting home safely! She went camping this past week with her boyfriend's family and had a great time, but boy did we miss her. It was so good to see her come through my front door!
~ Sunshine! We have had too much rain here in Maine this month... actually 20 of 28 days have had some precipitation, ugh! So, when we have a sunny day or even a few hours of sun, I so appreciate it, the warmth, the light and yes even the heat and humidity!
~ My sweetie! He is going through a really rough time right now and watching him continue to press forward, do whatever is necessary to get us through it and watch him in FAITH keep his head high and his eyes focused! He is such a wonderful man, and continues to carry me when I can't keep going on my own!
~ Opportunities. This past week an opportunity presented itself to me and while I take the time to pray about and appreciate the offer, what a blessing to know that I have options :)
~ My family. Whether blood related or love related! How special these people are to me. They are praying and loving on us in this time of need and God is good to send these people into our lives at these times of need.
~ Meeting some new teens and getting the chance to hang out with them this past weekend. I helped the kids organize a car wash on Saturday and spent Sunday at youth group with them. There are some really great teens in my life and I am enjoying getting to know them better!
~ Hugs and snuggles from a really special little girl in my life! I haven't had the chance to see her much lately, but I had the chance to really spend some time with her Sunday night and it was so needed. What a gift you are Tori to this Auntie!!!

Blessings are all around us, we just need to be willing to look for them!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Still standing and listening!

I wanted to continue to share with you how and what I am doing as I wait out this troublesome time that we are in. I have found myself withdrawn and not really talking much to anyone, including Frank and internalizing all that is going on with us. This causes more problems then not but its what I do. I am working on it, but its hard for this "old" dog to change. This is the verse that I read this morning and man, oh man... ouch!
"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33 (NIV)
Respect, hmmmm.. well I do respect Frank as the man of our home but since last Friday and he told me the news, I know that he must be feeling like he lets me down and that he is fully responsible for this mess. I have tried to encourage him, but am not doing the best job that I could be in this area and have turned inward and been quite pouty and poor me-ish actually. Don't get me wrong, its scary and I am not sure what we are going to do without the finances coming into the house that we need to live on, so it is hard on all of us, but I really need to try to encourage Frank and respect him as a man more than I am. That's the goal for the rest of the week, hopefully I can be better at it then I have been :)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


While I am looking for my feet to stay steadfast during this time of unknown and fear this verse was in my devotions this morning and I know it was a clear gift from the author and I am resting in knowing that my hand is being held today by the One who loves me most!

"The steps of a [woman] are established by the Lord, and He delights in [her] way. When [she] falls, [she] will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds [her] hand." Psalm 37:23-24 (NASB)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Bountiful Blessings~

Blessings are hard to see sometimes when we are consumed by unfortunate events, feeling bad, missing people, and just down right pity parties. But God is good to me and when I stop and look at my life, I see that these blessings are still there just in different form than what I am looking for.

~ Girlfriends! I love my Frank more than life itself, but to sit on a friends porch enjoying the company of 4 beautiful and God fearing women, it was a priceless evening for me and I will remember it always!
~ The Maine coast! What a treasure we have here in the State of Maine to enjoy God's creation and His majesty while walking the coast line hand in hand with my favorite man and loving this life that we have built with God at the center.
~ A phone call from a friend when I needed it most. I was really missing my mom Saturday night and the phone call met me where I needed to be and reminded me that I am loved.
~ Worship music! I am so grateful for Pandora, Worship Radio 95.3 and my I-pod! I need this in my life!!
~ Opportunities to stretch myself out of my comfort zone. These come by now and then, and I am realizing that God uses them to teach me that I have more to offer when I think I am tapped out.
~ Emotions... all of them, but at this time, desperation and fear. They cause me to lean on the One who I can depend on at all times. To remember that I am more than just me, I am a child of God and that He will sustain me and protect me and my family.

Till next week, keeping my head and heart upwards and my eyes focused on the journey ahead!

Took a little bloggin break!

I'm back! I needed to take a little break from the blogging world. With the things that were and are going on in the Johnson family, I was feeling just a little too negative and yucky about things and after re-reading some of the previous posts, realized that my posts had started to become negative too and I NEVER wanted that to be the case. Honest, true to life, and factual and real... definitely but not negative and depressing. So, I took a little break, but I have missed it and its good to be back at writing. It's such therapy for me.

I'll take the time this post to catch up on my weight loss - healthier lifestyle and what we have been doing. I'll post later on about some blessings that have come our way!
I stopped doing weekly blog/check ins. Why you ask? Well, glad that you asked! I took a break from weighing in. I was becoming obsessed by it and watched my emotions run around like a roller coaster ride. I was happy when I was losing lots and miserable when staying the same and even had a gain one week. This was not what I was doing this for. I lost focus and became frustrated when people wouldn't notice the hard work and dedication that this was taking for me. I also got too caught up in comparing myself to others, like I said not at all what I started this program for at all. So, I regrouped and continued to work on my own without blogging or even really telling Frank what was going on. He is so good to notice the littlest things about me and I am blessed to have him to be my encourager (more about this in a later, Bountiful Blessings post). All this being said... I weighed in this morning after my standing apt with my Wii and I am at a grand total of 28.5 lbs.!!! BUT even better than that is... I have lost over 9 inches all over my body!!! SWEET!!! I am so happy with this part of it! I wanted to see the 30lbs but not quite and that's just ok. The inches was really exciting as I started writing the numbers down as I measured, what a treat for me to add it all up! So, I have the encouragement to keep going at MY pace and know that this is doing much better good than not :)
The Johnsons' are tired of this rain and gray! It has effected all of us. We are tired, pale, (well 5 of us are, the other one heads to get some artificial sun 2-3X a week, hehehe) cranky, and bored. Sports have been cancelled one after the other and there isn't much to do around here in good ole Waterville indoors that doesn't cost a small fortune for us to do. We did get the chance to get outdoors yesterday to celebrate Father's Day with Frank and even though the sun only poked its little rays out here and there, we had a great time! Just what we needed and I am so grateful for the opportunity to do it. This morning we will collect our gopher wood and my dear friend Laurie is collecting the animals 2X2 so we will work together and see where this takes us, lol!
Regardless of what is going on in all our lives, remember that you are an important part of my life and I am so glad that you stopped by to check in! Happy Monday!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Sibling Lovin'

Conversation I overheard last night at Austin's baseball game:

Alex (older boy that the twins play with during games): What number is your brother?
Cam: 12. Do you know him?
Alex: Yeah, is he fun?
Cam: Yeah, he is fun..... no I lied.. he is the funnest brother ever. I bet you wish that your brother was that much fun!


Monday, June 8, 2009

Bountiful Blessings~

The week went by with more lows than highs but I made it out to the other side, by the grace of God! Blessings still came and while it was hard to see them in the moment, looking back they were still there!

~ A wonderful surprise gift certificate to go out to dinner with Frank! We still haven't been able to go "out" to celebrate our 15 years of loving!!! Such is the life when you have kids involved in sports. But what a nice surprising gift to be able to go out and enjoy ourselves together without the kids :)
~ Friends! I am so very thankful for my best friend! Devon walks beside me through the good and the bad, and lately more of this than good, I'm afraid. She truly is one of my biggest blessings in this lifetime and I am so grateful for her. Love you Dev!
~ Shopping bargains! I was able to get some really discounted, almost so cheap you wouldn't believe it bargains this past weekend :) Anyone who knows me knows, I LOVE a bargain and with a family of 6, with four kids we have to look for bargains! We did well, and the kids are looking all set for summer clothes for awhile.
~ Learning new things about myself. Not always painless, but good to know just the same!
~ Sunday afternoon walks with my family. We have, as weather permits, been getting out on Sunday afternoons to walk/hike to explore the area around us. We have great walking trails around the Waterville/Oakland/Belgrade/Rome areas. The kids love exploring new places and they are learning as we do it too {{bonus}}! I enjoy this family time so much after a really busy morning at church and this is our time to reconnect. I really relish this time!
~ My summer morning routine! My slow wake up, my time with God, my workout and my l-o-n-g snuggles with the twins! Now that school is out, we have more time for taking things a little less hurried! I love summer with my kids!

Hoping your feeling blessed among your trials too!!!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Approval Addiction = Bondage

So, I am really struggling with something that I have had all my life as far back as I can remember. I thought that I had dealt with it but it is very apparent that I have not and still suffer with this as much today as I did as a child, actually probably more so most days. It's called approval addiction and I have it bad. I have found myself too often living my life to seek the approval of others. I constantly compare myself to what others are doing and think that if their lives "appear" perfect, and I don't do things the way that they do them, that I must be wrong and therefore must change what I am doing to be just like them and get their approval. How awful is that? Now before anyone gets on me about seeking only God's approval, I will save you the trip... I know this and in fact find that some days that stresses me out too. I know that I fall short of His approval most days and that simply adds to my distress and discouragement. I also know that this is causing me great bondage in my life and I am trying so hard to give this to God to release me from this bondage. For whatever reason, I am still hanging on to it and it really is causing me emotional, spiritual, and physical pain. I constantly seek everyone's approval, the need for people around me to be happy and to fix things so that people aren't judging me or comparing myself to others is exhausting and I am so weary of this way of life. I try so hard to be everything to everyone all the time... the perfect wife, most patient and understanding mother, the sensitive and caring friend, the most entertaining, organized and God-lead children's ministry director. I try to have a perfect life all the time and when I fall short of that or people point out my downfalls, my world crumbles and I realize that I have failed yet again and so the road goes.....

So, I ask for your prayers in helping me to leave this way of life behind me and get on with the real journey that Christ has for me.
In His grip!