Monday, April 11, 2011

Multitudes on Monday

So one person CAN change your whole mood and attitude! Why do I let that happen to me? Do you? As of late, I have purposely been working on my heart and attitude. Ok, well, I have lots to work on but I really am trying :) It seems however that the harder I try working on it, the harder there are people around me working at sharing their "not so sunny" dispositions with me :( It doesn't have to be someone I even know by name. You know them, the man who pulled out in front of you while you were driving and then looked at you like you were crazy. The person working at the grocery store who is so mad that she has to ring you up when she was just told she can go on break but YOU had put your groceries on the belt first. The lovely librarian whom you asked to look up a book for you and you have just interrupted their visiting time with their friend on the phone. You've met them too, haven't you? Worse than that, is the people we do know by name, because that means we are invested in them. Our friends, co-workers, and family... for me, that is the worst. Mostly because I love them, I want them to be happy and never upset, sad, or mad. Yeah ok, I know impossible, but if I could make it happen, I would! So when one of them is not happy, neither am I. Even when I try, it just doesn't happen. The worst of it all, is when Frank is unhappy. And that is where we have been as of late.... so while I have been working on my heart and attitude, its been a struggle for me.. because we have been "off". Nothing is wrong but when we are "off" my attitude is really yucky! We are busy and don't have much time together, he is working 7 days a week for the last 18 months and he is tired and frustrated with that, our kids have had some issues as of late and so we have had to deal with that, and while all that is going on he is trying hard to stay involved in his commitments at our church and help out friends and family when needed. So, needless to say, he is tired and cranky and its making me that way too! So, in true Janet fashion, how do you fix this... well of course I get cranky even when I started out in a good mood. I start feeding the fire with the fuel of "He has time and energy for everyone BUT me". "He can be available for his job but when it comes to me, oh no too tired", " He can laugh and fool around with his friends but oh no, not me... I get the yawns, the heavy eyes, and the complaints of the day". Ugh, who is that nasty woman? Yup, its me... sadly. Now before I go into heavy depression about my screw ups and believe me girls, there are plenty, let me tell you this... I love and admire my husband and think he is the MOST amazing man on this earth. The "problem" with that though is I want him to always be happy and energetic when it comes to me and that isn't even reasonable. He knows I love him and so around me, he feels safe and comfortable to let his guard down and just relax, to rest and to share his issues of the day. This is a compliment if I would just take it that way. So, this week I challenge myself to pray harder for this wonderful man of mine, to have enough done that he can just come home and sit and rest, and to encourage him to get to bed earlier and ask God to give him the sleep and rest that he needs to go on another day. AND honestly to ask God to take out that feeling of insecurity I get when Frank is feeling like he is and remember it is not about ME! Can you pray for me too? Hugs! #59... new memories with my best girlfriend for her birthday ( "I thought it was a wrap for my hair") LOL #60... God's timely provisions for our family #61... healthy children #62... spring sports for the kids ( I love to watch them play!) #63... evening walks outside #64... birds singing outside my window to announce the sun has risen and its time to start my day #65... my quiet time before the kids are up.. my comfy chair, my coffee and my Jesus... {{sigh}}


Amy said...

The wrap!! HAHA :D I love you and will pray for you my sweet! <3 You ARE an encourager to so very many amazing, beautiful, loving woman. <3