Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 10:20 AM
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 10:37 AM
Monday, October 5, 2009
As a homeschooling mom, I am well aware of how important lessons are. You can't just teach a piece of something here or a part of something else there. You need the whole lesson to learn the complete concept. Well, that's where I am with my walk with God right now. In the midst of some lessons. Like teaching my children, they aren't all fun and games either. Actually most of them are not fun at all.
Earlier this summer, I committed to working on complete surrender of my life to God. For those of you who know me, know that this is a task for me since I am a control freak. While I have come a long way in this commitment, I am so not there yet. I do make it a daily prayer that I could give it all over to him, all my worries, frustrations, and struggles.. the good and the bad. It and I am a work in progress. Better than before, but oh so long a road to go!
I am studying the difference between having faith and trust. It is a good study and I am learning alot, mostly about myself, but also what the word of God has to say about faith. Maybe another blog soon about this as it has a lot of content and I have lots of thoughts on it. Not at a complete conclusion though, so I'll leave it at that. In case you were wondering, I have concluded that there is a definite difference.
Right now, today, I am having to leave a lot to God. We have so many uncertainties in our life and I am really having a hard time with it. I am a A type personality and I like my plans made in advance and all my ducks in a row, so to say. There are things that we are waiting on and dealing with that truly only the Lord of the Universe knows anything about. Very hard for me. I am anxious, sleep deprived, and on edge because of it and I am waiting on the Lord to reveal His plans to us.
The one thing I know for certain is that God loves us and wants what is best for our family. I need to rest in that and try to relax and be patient. Lets hope my eyes and ears are open more than they were yesterday so that He can show me my tomorrow!
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 11:16 AM
Thursday, September 17, 2009
In working on my blog last night, I wondered why this blog wasn't posted... I had selected save post instead of publish post! So goes my life... anyway my blog to my sweet 16 year old! Mwah...
Wow, how can this be? I asked Frank this morning. It's just not possible for this to be happening in our life. Sixteen years ago this morning, we fell deeply in love with a perfect and beautiful little baby girl that we named Kendra Nicole Johnson.
She began her journey into the world exactly how Kendra does everything - in her own time! My due date was September 12 and it came and went with no baby. On the morning of September 14, my water broke and the contractions weren't far behind. Off to the hospital we went, scared and excited. We were so young and naive. However, I had dreamed of this moment my whole life that I could remember, I was going to be a mommy! We were checked into the hospital and settled in for what we thought would be a few hours maybe 10 tops... we were so wrong! Twenty - three hours, an epidural, and little sleep later my precious baby girl arrived. She was perfect! Petite, pink and pouting she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and I was in love. It was there in that delivery room that I remember really falling in love with Frank all over again and understanding what that statement even meant.
We've been through so much together, a near death experience, weddings, funerals, trips to the ER, new siblings, broken hearts, laughter that makes your face and stomach ache, trips to NY, a great boyfriend of over a year and a half, and more personal moments that are for this mom to hold close and treasure them for myself. All in all, she is my pride and joy. She is my first born and one of my closest friends. She knows me well as I do her. When I woke up this morning and realized that my time with her here with me under our roof is a mer two years left, I choked up and found myself in sorrow and fear, just like I did that day 16 years ago when she stopped breathing. Quickly I am reminded that God saved her that day and will continue to save her day to day. So instead of focusing on what is to come, I am focused on the here and now and loving that my baby girl still loves to hug me and love me, watch TV with her mom and sit and chat about stuff. These are the moments I treasure and I am looking forward to more of these to come!
Happy 16th birthday baby girl! You changed my life for the better sixteen years ago. My life and those of our family are better because you are in it and you fill us all with love. Thank you for allowing me to be your mommy, I am so blessed! I love you so very much!
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 2:39 PM
Thursday, August 27, 2009
It is that time of year here in the Johnson home... Fall is just around the corner and with it is coming the start of a year of running everyone here and there and being straight out busy. Ok, so if you know me at all, you are thinking or even saying out loud, "when isn't the Johnson family right out straight and busy?" Good point, but this time of year seems more so to me than any other!
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 6:35 AM
Monday, August 17, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 9:06 AM
Monday, August 10, 2009
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 8:55 AM
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Twelve years ago today, at 4:20pm, Frank and I fell in love with a 10lb 3oz (ouch!) bundle of sweetness that we named Austin Dean Johnson! Austin was such a good baby and so easy, I wondered what I had done in this life to deserve such a treasure for a baby. Everyone told me it was such an adjustment to go from one baby to two, this was so not the case with Austin. Truly the only time that we heard much from him was when he was hungry, which seemed to be most of the time :) and if he was hurting. He was so content to just sit with me or in his swing and watch his big sister play in front of him. Always the sensitive child, he would want to give his toys to other kids who wanted what he had, and often would find himself without in a group setting since other kids would just play around him and use what he might be playing with. To this day, he loves to be home with his family and truly is a "mommas boy". We don't look at this as a sign of weakness or demeaning of his character. He truly enjoys being with me and I with him and I LOVE the glimpse into the future that I am getting into the man that he is becoming and will be one day. This boy will be a sensitive and loving boyfriend and husband one day. This boy will be a loving and gentle daddy one day. This boy will be a man with integrity and honesty and a deep love for his Heavenly Father. I love him so much and I adore my moments with him. He is one of my greatest treasures and blessings here on this earth :)
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 11:07 PM
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
So behind the ball this week! We are still functioning in screech mode here in the Johnson family.. and when we aren't screeching somewhere we are so tired that this momma can't keep her eyes open long enough to be on the computer to type my blessings out! So here goes what has been floating around in my head in the blessing compartment of my brain:
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 9:42 PM
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wow, has this been a really emotional couple of weeks in the parenting department. I have always loved being a mommy and still do, but boy, this is tuff stuff. I know that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle without His help, but there are definitely times that I think He has mixed me up with another lady named, Janet Johnson. This lady must be more organized than I am, much more patient, never loses her temper on her children, always has a smile ready, all the time in the world to spend one on one time with each of them, always shows Jesus in her actions to others... the list is endless and I am not that woman. The only thing that I can say is that I love them more than myself. I would die for any or all of them if necessary. It kills me inside to see them in pain or hurting either at the consequence of a choice that they have made or because I have had to punish them for something. I know that this is only a piece of the pain that my Heavenly Father must feel when I disobey or have to suffer a consequence of a bad choice. The pain He must feel from me on a daily basis...." Lord, please help me to do better at disappointing and disobeying you! Continue to work on me to become the woman and the mom that YOU would have me to be. Please let me show Christ to my children so that they would want to know You better and more intimately. Thank you for choosing me to be their mommy. It is my greatest blessing in this life and I thank you for "loaning" them to me. I continue to stand in awe of your greatness and generosity of these gifts!"
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 2:29 PM
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
We had a really great long weekend this past week and blessings were bubbling all over the place!
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 9:17 PM
Monday, June 29, 2009
This past week had lots of ups and downs but blessings exist if we look for them!
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 11:19 AM
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 4:22 PM
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 11:25 AM
Monday, June 22, 2009
Blessings are hard to see sometimes when we are consumed by unfortunate events, feeling bad, missing people, and just down right pity parties. But God is good to me and when I stop and look at my life, I see that these blessings are still there just in different form than what I am looking for.
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 10:13 AM
I'm back! I needed to take a little break from the blogging world. With the things that were and are going on in the Johnson family, I was feeling just a little too negative and yucky about things and after re-reading some of the previous posts, realized that my posts had started to become negative too and I NEVER wanted that to be the case. Honest, true to life, and factual and real... definitely but not negative and depressing. So, I took a little break, but I have missed it and its good to be back at writing. It's such therapy for me.
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 8:55 AM
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Conversation I overheard last night at Austin's baseball game:
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 9:21 PM
Monday, June 8, 2009
The week went by with more lows than highs but I made it out to the other side, by the grace of God! Blessings still came and while it was hard to see them in the moment, looking back they were still there!
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 10:05 AM
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
So, I am really struggling with something that I have had all my life as far back as I can remember. I thought that I had dealt with it but it is very apparent that I have not and still suffer with this as much today as I did as a child, actually probably more so most days. It's called approval addiction and I have it bad. I have found myself too often living my life to seek the approval of others. I constantly compare myself to what others are doing and think that if their lives "appear" perfect, and I don't do things the way that they do them, that I must be wrong and therefore must change what I am doing to be just like them and get their approval. How awful is that? Now before anyone gets on me about seeking only God's approval, I will save you the trip... I know this and in fact find that some days that stresses me out too. I know that I fall short of His approval most days and that simply adds to my distress and discouragement. I also know that this is causing me great bondage in my life and I am trying so hard to give this to God to release me from this bondage. For whatever reason, I am still hanging on to it and it really is causing me emotional, spiritual, and physical pain. I constantly seek everyone's approval, the need for people around me to be happy and to fix things so that people aren't judging me or comparing myself to others is exhausting and I am so weary of this way of life. I try so hard to be everything to everyone all the time... the perfect wife, most patient and understanding mother, the sensitive and caring friend, the most entertaining, organized and God-lead children's ministry director. I try to have a perfect life all the time and when I fall short of that or people point out my downfalls, my world crumbles and I realize that I have failed yet again and so the road goes.....
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 12:58 PM
Sunday, May 31, 2009
I have so much blogging that I want to do and just trying to find the time to do it! So, in light of that I am going to just do a quick list of blessings from this week and hopefully find the time to get more writing done next week since I am on summer break (see previous post)!!
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 9:20 PM
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 8:45 PM
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I have so much blogging I want to do that I am not sure how to keep it all separate, making sense and the time to get it all down! Therefore, there just might be more posts from me than usual, so check back more often this week, you might just be surprised to see more from me!!
Posted by The Johnson Punkin Patch~ at 8:32 AM