Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Conditions and Expectations?????

Some recent events that not only have happened to me but also to some of my family members has caused me to pause on the conditions and expectations of loving someone. Whether it is a friend that we love, a spouse, even our children, either knowingly or not we have conditions of some of that love and definitely expectations. Not to be confused with the unconditional love that we have for our husbands and wives or that we have for our children. I tell my kids all the time, there is nothing that they can do to cause me not to love them, and that is true. I can't wrap my head around anything that I don't think that I could work through, by the grace of God, that Frank could do that would cause me not to love him. Thinking and reflecting on things that have happened in the recent past, has caused me to think and appreciate the love Christ has for me.
To know that we don't have to perform at a certain level for Him to "play me in the game" relieves a low self esteem man when he is at his lowest. To know that we don't have to act "just like everyone else", lightens a teen girls heart when she is feeling judged. Learning that we "fit in" all the time with Christ, when others make a young man feel left out of everything, makes him feel worthy of being just who he is without making any changes. To know that even when our hearts are hurting and our immediate response is to put up walls of protection around our hearts or even to hurt the person(s) back that are causing us pain, that God knows the pain in a woman's heart and shows her through scripture, encouraging words from other women, and a loving husband that her heart is safe and only God can and is able to heal those wounds.
I am learning that acceptance of who we are in Christ needs to be enough. This is a tough lesson for me, because I live in constant comparison and competition with other wives, moms, women and families and God does not intend for that to be. He created us just the way we are, sinful and yucky just the same. He wants us to surrender it all and let Him continue to mold us to be just like Him, but I am learning that starts with accepting ourselves as He made us and working with Him to change not change us into what we think HE wants. Does this make sense to anyone else? I hope it does. If not just being able to write it out just solidifies it to me :)
I'd love to hear some feedback on this and see if anyone else has or is struggling with this too?