Wow, has this been a really emotional couple of weeks in the parenting department. I have always loved being a mommy and still do, but boy, this is tuff stuff. I know that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle without His help, but there are definitely times that I think He has mixed me up with another lady named, Janet Johnson. This lady must be more organized than I am, much more patient, never loses her temper on her children, always has a smile ready, all the time in the world to spend one on one time with each of them, always shows Jesus in her actions to others... the list is endless and I am not that woman. The only thing that I can say is that I love them more than myself. I would die for any or all of them if necessary. It kills me inside to see them in pain or hurting either at the consequence of a choice that they have made or because I have had to punish them for something. I know that this is only a piece of the pain that my Heavenly Father must feel when I disobey or have to suffer a consequence of a bad choice. The pain He must feel from me on a daily basis...." Lord, please help me to do better at disappointing and disobeying you! Continue to work on me to become the woman and the mom that YOU would have me to be. Please let me show Christ to my children so that they would want to know You better and more intimately. Thank you for choosing me to be their mommy. It is my greatest blessing in this life and I thank you for "loaning" them to me. I continue to stand in awe of your greatness and generosity of these gifts!"