Approval Addiction = Bondage

So, I am really struggling with something that I have had all my life as far back as I can remember. I thought that I had dealt with it but it is very apparent that I have not and still suffer with this as much today as I did as a child, actually probably more so most days. It's called approval addiction and I have it bad. I have found myself too often living my life to seek the approval of others. I constantly compare myself to what others are doing and think that if their lives "appear" perfect, and I don't do things the way that they do them, that I must be wrong and therefore must change what I am doing to be just like them and get their approval. How awful is that? Now before anyone gets on me about seeking only God's approval, I will save you the trip... I know this and in fact find that some days that stresses me out too. I know that I fall short of His approval most days and that simply adds to my distress and discouragement. I also know that this is causing me great bondage in my life and I am trying so hard to give this to God to release me from this bondage. For whatever reason, I am still hanging on to it and it really is causing me emotional, spiritual, and physical pain. I constantly seek everyone's approval, the need for people around me to be happy and to fix things so that people aren't judging me or comparing myself to others is exhausting and I am so weary of this way of life. I try so hard to be everything to everyone all the time... the perfect wife, most patient and understanding mother, the sensitive and caring friend, the most entertaining, organized and God-lead children's ministry director. I try to have a perfect life all the time and when I fall short of that or people point out my downfalls, my world crumbles and I realize that I have failed yet again and so the road goes.....

So, I ask for your prayers in helping me to leave this way of life behind me and get on with the real journey that Christ has for me.

In His grip!