Really... that's what you think????

So, yesterday while I was talking to one of my FKA parents, I was told that she could never live up to the kind of woman, mom, wife and friend that I was, and honestly it exhausted her just thinking about it! This sweet lady went on and on about how organized I was, how patient I am with not only my own kids but others, how much love is in my eyes when I speak with or of my hunny, how great it is to see me with friends; laughing and having fun. Please know she was being very complimentary in both her words and her actions, actually trying to be an encouragement to me. I walked away from the conversation feeling both encouraged and elevated in my spirit that someone that of me. Then last night sitting and snuggled up to my sweetie sharing our days together, I started to chuckle, and it turned into a full fledged laughing fit! Oh if only people knew we both said... now before you start thinking this is a "I need people to say nice things to me, pat me on the back, and tell me how wonderful I am" kind of post, you are so wrong! I just was thinking about it more and more and want to share what my life looks like when things aren't as lovely as this sweet person described me.

I do try very hard to be organized and keep everything together and it isn't often that things on the family calendar aren't taken care of in a VERY orderly fashion, but it does happen that I completely space an appointment, run late picking someone up, or actually have forgotten to pick someone up and then my cell rings... "MOM!!!" Ugh! If it weren't for having a calendar in every room, my planner on me at all times, and my cell set with alarms... it would be bad! With six of us often headed in multiple directions, it's next to impossible to keep it all going but we do it with the best intentions and sometimes I fail at it but I do try. My kids are just like everyone elses. They are naughty and make bad choices, they don't pick up after themselves, the oldest two make me wonder from time to time how they will ever make it out on their own because of their lack of being able see things any farther then the end of their noses some days. The twins make me shutter some days from their lack of being able to share and be kind to each other. Their selective hearing is something that on a bad day can send me for that glass of wine way before dinner, lol! BUT... at the end of the day when we have all said good night, hugged and kissed our way into our beds, they are my God given blessings and I wouldn't trade them for anything or anyone on this planet. They are my best accomplishment this side of heaven and I take great pride in them and my mothering.

My husband! The lady was right about this one thing, I sure do love Frank! When I talk to him and I speak of him, I beam with love and pride in this man that chose me to spend his life with. But it isn't always hearts and flowers with us either. We both have a lot of baggage that came with us into our marriage that to this day we still deal with. We both have lost very important people in our lives that has effected our marriage. I am home with the kids all day, he is off working hard for our family, working two jobs so that we can follow God's direction for our family and homeschool our children. He gets tired, I get tired and we certainly are opinionated (ok I am way more then he is, lol). There are times when I don't feel in love with him and I am sure he has days when he doesn't feel in love with me, but we do love each other and work DAILY on our love for each other centered around our love for Christ.

As far as my friends... I love them all! God is teaching me a new lesson in 2010 and I am enjoying this ride. God has a plan for me involving me friends. He is knitting people into my life to help and offer their strengths to me in ways I never thought possible. Every single one of my girls adds something special to my life,. They are all different in almost every way, and what that adds to my life is becoming quite priceless to me! I still struggle with trust and how close to let people in, but I am working on it by the grace of a God who loves me enough to put these lovely ladies in my life to walk with me in this journey. You all are so valuable to me and I love you all so very much!

So you see, I am just like all of you... I fail miserably some days, I don't have it all together most days, and I am my own worst critic. I hold myself to a standard that I would never allow anyone else to hold themselves to. But, I am a servant, I am a crazy in love girl with her sweetheart, I am a mommy who loves her babies more than life itself, I am a silly outgoing girlfriend to some of the best ladies I know, and I am blessed beyond anything I ever imagined or deserve. That's what I hope I communicate to you the next time I see you :)

R & R

Ah, now I can rest a bit! I am sighing a bit sigh of relief. Did you hear it? Shhhh, listen. I bet you heard it then didn't you? I have been right out straight. More so then usual. I have been feeling pulled in all kinds of directions with feeling like I don't do any of it to the best of my ability and that stresses me out. Between my duties as a CM director, Easter choir and personal preparations for that, some family issues that just happened to "pop up" during the week leading up to Easter, baseball and softball practices, and being a mom and wife.... I was feeling so very overwhelmed and it didn't take long for it to start coming out with some physical illness symptoms. I had a headache that literally lasted for four days and I was so sick to my stomach. And of course with that comes the emotional binging that comes with me getting disturbing news... ugh!

This week is a new week though. The Kidz Easter Choir performed and did beautifully :) Especially the twins! We had a wonderful Easter dinner with family and friends, nice and quiet and simple. Now I get the chance to just sigh and breathe :) Yes its still busy but its all good! Running here and there with the kids is what I do best and I enjoy it all. So, I sigh, count all my blessings, and thank God that He has given me the strength to do what I do, the family and friends to put up with me while I do it, and for giving me the passion to do it all again the next day :)

Fail.... epic fail, as Cam would say!

My sweet eight year old has a new saying, "Fail... epic fail". Not sure what that even means but Webster uses these definitions:
1. ommision of occurence or performance specifically a failure to perform a duty or expected action.
3. a falling short
Officially I fit the Webster definition and feel it in every part of my being today. Actually, like a rash that slowly spreads itself, I have been having this feeling off and on all week and it came to a nasty full body covering last night and today. Today seems to be the worst. I don't know if it is the yucky rainy weather we are having or just that everything seemed to collapse on me today but it is by far the worst today. I can list it all for you, I made a complete list while in the shower a few minutes ago... I have failed at being a Godly wife, a Godly mother, a caring friend, a Godly CM director, I am currently failing at my committment for a healthier lifestyle for myself, a homeschooling mom... the list seems to go on and on. I do realize that these are thoughts completely provided curtosy of Satan himself, but none the less, they are real and right now they are seeming so big and out of control.
Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day at the least it is a new one :)

Best week ever!

Yup.. that about describes it! We have had an amazing week here in the Johnson house. Not at all because anything monumental happened but because it was a great week, that's all! The sun has been out all week and warming up our home. The boys have been playing outside all week too and that makes for very happy and tired guys by the end of the day. Princess and I have had lots of chances to sit on the porch in the sun and talk, this is memories I will keep with me for the rest of my life! My sweetheart and I have had the chance to walk together and talk about stuff, how precious that time has become in this very busy life that we live. We really are enjoying our new home and all that the area has to offer to us!
We celebrated St. Patrick day in true Johnson traditional fashion, complete with a well planned leprechaun trap designed by the truly crafty 8 year olds! Nicely placed and well thought out, we set the trap and waited.... those leprechauns are tricky and got by us again this year, but didn't disappoint us and left gold wrapped chocolate and gold glitter to let us know he had stopped by :) I don't know how many more years this will work but for now, I am enjoying watching their team work and the childhood excitement that they share. On a side note, I said as much to my sweet man and the Princess was walking by and said "Mom, as if! I am going to be 17 this year and I still wait to see if we caught him." I have mentioned how much I love her!
My sweet young man participated in a baseball clinic this week and is really excited about playing ball this spring! Apparently he made an impression on the coaches during the clinic. He participated in a clinic from a town near us and more than one of them asked him what town he was from :) We are looking forward to seeing him play and improve this year!
Health wise, I am feeling awesome! I am working out 5-6 days a week, noticing small but important changes in my clothes and such, and have lost a total of 12.4 lbs in a little less then 3 weeks. More importantly is my energy level is soaring and my emotions are just about as high! My wonderful love made it a point to tell me he likes how happy and full of energy I have been the last couple of weeks! He gives me the best compliments :)
So all in all, best week ever for no reason at all but really all the best reasons... 5 of them to be exact! Hope you are all doing well too! Enjoy your weekend friends :)

Praise and prayer!

Dear God!

Wow, what a day! I just wanted to thank you, to truly thank you for using me today for Your purposes. When I stop and think about what all transpired today and how your Holy Spirit was at work, I am so awe struck that I can't find words to describe the feeling. For you to use me, this cracked and worn vessel to help lead one of Your children to you, what an honor and a privilege. Thank you for using me!
You know what all was going on, You knew that I was getting caught up in the admin. stuff , and You knew that I needed a reminder of exactly why You have called me to do this job of leading little hearts in Your name at FEFC. I could almost hear the angels rejoicing and everything else just disappeared for me, it was really about You, Jesus.
Please help me always to remember that moment. To remember why we do what we do. To remember that in a hundred years from now, that is what matters most!

Humbly in Your work~ Amen!

Lovin' Life!

Things I woke up thinking about this morning.....

• The sunshine coming in my window put an instant smile on my face!
• My hard working husband pitter pattering around the kitchen making sure to be quiet to not wake any of us knowing we need to rest.
• My body aching from my new exercise routine. Although I am aching, I know it is working and that believe it or not made me smile!
• The eight year old boy snuggling next to me is growing up fast, but having these few precious moments with him are timeless to me and I tear up thinking about them ending soon.
• My overachieving daughter heading out the door to her CP Bio class at the local high school. She is working so hard at so many things in her life. I am so very proud of her and know that my time of parenting is coming to an end and needs me more as a friend and a mentor then she does a mom right now.
• My other eight year old enjoying teasing his older brother! His laugh is contagious and you can't help but laugh with him even if you don't know what he is laughing about. God gave me this boy to remind me to laugh much and often.
• My sweet and serious twelve year young man who is finding out what kind of guy he wants to be. He doesn't like how he is seeing people treat others and he doesn't like to hurt other people with his words or actions. Thank you God for giving him a sweet spirit!
• The way that my husbands kiss goodbye still melts me and gives me butterflies almost 16 years later! Thank you God for a loving spouse to walk beside me in this journey we call life.
  

As you can see, my mind was working immediately upon eyes opening but it was all good and I didn't want to miss one moment of it! Life is good today!

Wonderful week- end and a wonderful weekend!

What a great end of the week (week-end) and weekend we had! We started off getting together with friends on Friday night at the local Mexican restaurant. I was a little bit nervous since I had been so careful all week with what I had to eat and watching my calories. I wanted to make sure that I made the best choices possible as well as knowing all too well that I would be enjoying some Mexican beverages and knowing that would put my calorie count up. Just the same I determined to go out with my sweetie and enjoy the night and not over-think anything especially the food! It was a wonderful evening and I really enjoyed spending time with my best friend and catching up with two other wonderful girl friends. I got home and baked 8.5 dz. chocolate cookies to go with the two pans of brownies that I needed to take to a basketball tournament early Saturday morning. Saturday I got up early enough to get a workout in and out the door by 7:3o am! Off we went... grocery shopping, work at the tournament selling concessions, and getting Kendra to work. Then it was time for me to go and have lunch with the lovely WPG girls (my neighbors)! What a great time I had hearing the stories from these ladies (all of which were in their sixties and one was eighty-four), they had such a wonderful connection and I was so honored to be a part of it all! Then I rushed home to get ready for an evening of fun and games at our house. I made a from scratch minestrone soup. It was so yummy and most seemed to enjoy it! Followed by a great game of boy vs girls Guesstures game. The girls won of course but there were too many moments of pure belly laughing... another ab workout for the day, I'll take it! After our friends left.. it was on to getting things ready for Sunday morning. Sunday morning came early, actually the same time as usual but I was dragging... playing the last two nights had caught up to me. Off I went to worship with and serve the kids of FEFC and before long was right into routine. We had a great morning and by 1:00pm I was ready to get home and relax! Oh, my dear sweet friend T found me a wicker porch set so that perked me right up! Woohoo! The rest of the day and evening was spent doing nothing else but snuggling, loving and resting. It was just what we all needed. A great night of rest brought me to this morning. Up I rise with a new energy and ready to get the day going. Laundry in.. check, homeschooling started... check, beds made... check. On a role! Now, for the dreaded workout and weigh in! If you read my previous post last Monday, you will know why I was anxious about the weigh in part. I knew that I had cheated some but tried to be careful, worked out 5 out of 7 days, and didn't drink soda or eat after 800pm. So off to the Wii I head with a prayer that God would allow me to look at whatever the results may be, with a clear head and heart and no misconceptions of what I am trying so hard to lose of myself. I was so thrilled to see that I had lost 5.3lbs! Imagine what it would have been without the little cheats I had along the way... not focusing on that... soooo grateful for the loss!
So to wrap it up, we had a wonderful, busy weekend and I was so tired but it was so worth it. And the fact that I can get back on track this morning was exciting to me. I just might find myself looking forward to Mondays again :)