A Month of Change!

Ok, so this is it.... I have been praying, listening, praying, reading, praying, researching, praying, talking to others, praying..... did I mention praying :) It is no mistake that I have "stumbled upon" articles, verses, and blogs touching on life changes. What an encouragement other women are to me, sharing their struggles and challenges! I have been a reader and occasional commenter at http://www.incourage.me/ and in reading that this week was brought to another blog that interested me: http://beautyandbedlam.com/the-weight-loss-roller-coaster/. Most of you know that I have struggled with my weight for so many years now that it seems like forever. Without going into it all over again with all of you, I am still struggling, therefore this blog intrigued me. While I found interesting information there that I plan on using, I was more intrigued by the sense of community there was between the writer and her readers. I have been longing for community for some time and will expand upon that in another blog post.

The writer decided to do a 30 day shed.... work on eating better and moving each day. She is accountable to close friends and her readers. She is taking off the mask, letting the real her show, and being open and honest about her struggles. I read and admired her determination and prayed. Could I do such a thing? Boy,oh boy, if I committed to do this, like this, would be letting all of you my readers the opportunity to see me fail (again). Prayed more, advice kept coming at me like a freight train. So for the last two weeks I have been thinking, talking to my Father, and researching. Finally, this past weekend it all came together for me (I think!).

So, here it is my 31 day plan! I am focused and committed to making good food choices; eating to live not living to eat. Focusing on something other than what to eat next. I will move my God-given body for at least 30 minutes a day (no excuses).I have joined a dance class and have plans in place for the other six days too, some of it just hiking with my family! I got myself a no-nonsense accountability partner! This is so HUGE for me! I love her, she will tell me just how it is, I have no doubt. She already has me looking at ideas and sites online on how to accomplish some long term goals that I have. She is a fellow Christian sister who I know will be praying for me and I her as we start this new challenge together.

But this isn't all about my weight, either. In this 31 day plan, I am also working on "shedding" my masks, simplifying some of our financial obligations, living more in the moment with my family, and spending more intimate time with my Father. This last part is most important to me, I get so into just getting my devo time done, to say I do it, that I have lost the intimate part I once had with Him.

So, there it is! I am out here, exposed and open in front of you, my friends. Every Monday, I will try to update you on my progress for the week. Please pray for me when you think of it? My commitment at this point is just the 31 days, I am praying it continues but I need to go short term and I am know I can do a month!

Hebrew 12:11 reminds us that “No discipline is pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. “

Seasons

A Time for Everything

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it.

God is speaking so very loudly to me on this right now and I am trying so hard to sit still and listen... for those of you who know me best, I struggle with both of these things... sitting still and listening :) God's timing is perfect and isn't usually mine. So, I will continue to pray and cry and pour my heart out to my Savior and trust Him to know what is best for me, His daughter!

Internal weeding......

Got myself some weeding to do! Not outside in the yard but inside...not the house... although that needs some attention too.... talking about inside myself in my heart. The place that only my Heavenly Father gets to see. I knew this was coming for some time.... I have been working hard at quieting the Holy Spirit's voice, ignoring some scripture and signs that have been pointing out just where the weeds are.

While some of these weeds are easy to recognize and take care of, others not so much! Knowing that weeds are sin some can be so easy to spot in my life others disguise themselves behind other things. Jealousy and being self centered, laziness and procrastination, and unkind thoughts all can mask themselves and even be hidden because it isn't always shown on the outside of ourselves.

I am praying today that God would continue to show me my weeds in my life and help me remove them permanently and when they do start to show back up that I would recognize it and yank those babies out right away. I want my garden (life) to look full, colorful and healthy not full of nasties :)

Got me thinking!

For those of you who don't already know, this is the youngest and furriest member of our family, Erin. Last night, she decided to head out on an adventure on the local golf course! Out of love for people she found a lady who brought her to the clubhouse and the owners called the local Animal Control Officer who then brought her to the local Humane Society. We found out where she was but not before a house full of tears and anxiety over where our lost family was. She had only been gone for a little over two hours but caused lots of turmoil, and heartbreak in that time. Just knowing that she was inside and not out wondering in the woods was not enough either. Some of us didn't sleep well knowing that she wasn't safe and sound where we could be with her. Little boys woke up with her on their minds and hearts wondering how much longer they would have to wait to love on their little furry friend. The hours seemed like days until the time came for us to call and find out when we could pick her up. Finally, we were all reunited. There were hugs and loves all around and lots of "I missed you" and "Don't ever run away from us again", and "Weren't you scared not being with us baby", and "You look so tired and sad". Reunions with loved ones, even our furry ones, are wonderful!

Once the hustle and bustle had subsided, I took time to sit and let my mind wander as I let the summer breeze wrap me like a warm cashmere blanket. How devastated must our Heavenly Father be when we walk away from Him and His will for us? Over the years, I have walked away from Him so many times.... sometimes for part of the day, other times for a week here and a week there. Even years have gone by that I lived only for myself and not thinking at all what His will for me was. I was living in the moment for the one I loved most, ME! During these times, I knew I was wrong, and when I came back I was so very sorry but often for myself. Walking away from God always brings me pain and I am so repentant for walking away because of the consequence of it, either in my life or how it affected someone else. If I did think about how disappointed God was in me, I dealt with it by telling myself, "God loves me in spite of what I do". Today it hit me just how much we must actually hurt, cause pain to the One who loves us most, when we walk away, eager to explorer the area around us, away from the One who is there to love us and protect us. This brought pain to me, actual pain to my heart! I pray that the next time I go to walk away and "explorer an adventure" I remember this moment in time where I thought bigger than myself and my selfish ways. Here's to hoping!