Man, when he is on the job... its full force ahead!

Holy crap! Look out.... he's busy! By he, I mean Satan a.k.a the devil himself. I have been listening to close friends and family and knowing that he is on the move, but yesterday he attacked me and hit me so hard, it dropped me to my knees and quickly.
I made the decision last week to get back to getting healthy again. I had taken a 5-6 month hiatus... not really watching what I was eating, exercising when it fit in (not very often), and feeding my emotions. This left me feeling tired, cranky, jealous, and sick. I did really well through the weekend, which included a weekend away with 10 other adults. Junk food was everywhere and meals included bagels, pizza and spaghetti, ugh!!! But previous planning allowed me to bring things to eat that were better choices and I wasn't really hungry so the temptation stayed at bay. This is the part where I need to give props to my girls over at the PWLFA( you know who you are(: ) they prayed me through the whole weekend! Anyway, all this to say that I was off to a good start!
Yesterday, I woke up feeling good, even pleased with myself. Very confident with my choices and how the weekend went. I had a great quiet time with God, really good breakfast choices and homeschooling went well. Then it crashed... I jumped on the Wii for the first time in months. Trying to mix some things up, I got the wii fit out and jumped on the balance board which weighs you and does your BMI... I gained quite a bit of my weight back and my BMI was back up. I felt all the air release out of my body like the air out of a balloon. Still I grabbed my determination and got to work. Forty-five minutes later, I finished my aerobics and sat down at the computer to drink a big glass of water and catch up with friends on FB. There staring at me in my face was a picture from the weekend of me on the beach with my sweetheart... and the only thing I could say was "Oh my God". Not meant to be disrespectful to my heavenly Father, truly a cry out to God! I was so appalled at what was staring back at me, that I dropped into a heap on the floor in tears. Why should I bother? I have so much weight to lose, so much exercise to do. I immediately fell back into a deep hatred for myself and started frantically looking for answers to gastric bypass surgery, the only fix I could think of. I didn't come up with any answers and finished the day in a glummy funk to which my dear family had to contend with all night. My poor husband!
I woke up this morning feeling sad again but not as bad. Then I looked back at yesterday and realized something good happened... I didn't feed my emotions. I stayed on track and didn't overeat! That is a huge accomplishment. I never would have done that in the past. So, I have rededicated my efforts. Today is a new day and God has my hand. I asked Him to take Satan away from me and guide my hunger, my efforts and my mind. Together we will cause Satan to stand in the unemployment line :)

Amazed!

If you have never had the chance to walk the beach at night (yes, even in February... in Maine) and look at the ocean and the stars in the night time......... you definitely need to do it!

The best part!

After a day of running errands with my littlest one, he speaks up from the back seat. Cam:"Mommy, do you know what is the best part of spending time with you by myself?" Me: "Is it that you get all my attention and don't have to share me?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part? Me: "Is it that we got to have lunch together just you and me?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part?" Me: "Is it that you didn't have to fight with anyone for the middle seat?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part?" Me: "No baby, I guess you will have to tell me." Cam: "You don't know what is the best part? It's you.. you're the best part!"
Yeah, he's got my heart!!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Momma! Friday, February 5th came and we would celebrate my mom's birthday. No matter how hard I prepare myself... still this day comes and hits me like a full ton of bricks. You see, my Mom was my best friend. She taught me so many great things in her lifetime, which you should know, was too short. One of the things that she did was make a big, I mean, huge deal about birthdays and holidays! I love it! It is one of the many things that I have passed down to my own family. So, in light of that we celebrate my mom's birthday even though she has been gone from this earth for almost 6 years. Let me set the scene of the day for you.
My wonderful, sweet, sensitive - knows me better than I know myself - soul mate; took the day off from work. Because he knows me so well, he knew that even though I thought I was fine, I wouldn't be. The morning came and I awoke with a deep sense of sadness. Like someone was sitting on my chest. Before my first tear hit my pillow, my sweetie rolled over, put me in his arms and let the tears fall right onto his chest. He truly is the best tear-catcher ever! Once there were no more tears left in me, we started our day. I tried to keep the day as normal as possible for the kids. It is so hard on them to see me upset. Sweetie was able to help with homeschooling. I'm not sure if it was more of a treat for him or the kids??? Either way, I had a break and the kids had a substitute teacher! We made a cake for mom. The kids all had their own way of remembering. My sixteen year old princess was quiet, yet a little more clingy and lovey. My twelve year old man, was very protective and watched quietly like a cat from whatever room I was in. The terrific twins spent lots of time looking through scrapbooks looking at their Mimi, wanted to know more and more about her. We then went outside and released balloons to heaven, a tradition that I have done every year with my kids since that first year without her. Complete with a rendition of Happy Birthday and a prayer from my littlest one asking God to watch over his Mimi and to make sure that she was happy with Him, since she would have been happy here with us, it must be really great there with Him!
So, happy 72nd birthday my mother, my best friend, my confidant, my hero! You are so very missed <3>

Its true I am a blog stalker!

Ok, so I have to confess I have become quite the blog stalker and even been known to steal from time to time... from blogs!
I love to read blogs.. well written ones anyway. I was trying to figure out where this sudden obsession came from and I realized that it really isn't that sudden at all. I have always enjoyed a good cooking blog looking for new meal ideas and ways to do things in the kitchen differently. I enjoy reading my friends blogs to keep up with their families and the latest happenings. Lately though I have been all about blogs to do with decorating spaces. Since I have a new home to decorate I am so enticed by well written decorating blogs. I love the country/rustic look and my new home will handle that style well. Lots of ideas have come from some well written ladies all over the country who sadly enough we will probably never meet. My other blog stalking obsession is coming from a new hobby of mine, wines. I have always enjoyed a great glass of wine, but in the last six weeks or so my enjoyment has led itself into a thirst for the knowledge of wine and what wines are good with what dish, where are the best wines from, etc... My friend PB over at the Wine Cask Blog is a wonderful and vast pool of information and I am grateful to have his opinions and his blog at my disposal.
Blogs are wonderful and you can stalk in your comfies, with a glass of wine, and if you don't like your new acquaintance you can just click away and there are no hard feelings. In the off chance you find a great blog you can stalk away and no one looks at you like your a creeper... unless of course its your teenage daughter or husband who sees that you have spent well over an hour on a certain blog!

Here I am!

Sigh... contentment. I am sitting here in our new home in an overstuffed chair, in front of the fireplace, drinking a cup of tea, snuggled up with a new throw I received for Christmas while I finally get the chance to come back to one of my great loves, writting in my blog. I have missed this so much.



Lots of things have happened since I last wrote. I just looked back at my blog and I last blogged in November of 2009.... that was two and a half months ago, how did that happen? I know how it happened but let me catch you up on what has been going on with the Johnson family. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and really enjoyed our little family. Our Thanksgiving festivities have changed alot over the last six years since my mom passed away. Lots of family members have left us either through death or by choice. That part sadens me. However, God has brought some new family and friends into our lives and we are so very blessed and happy. We went on our annual black Friday shopping day and enjoyed some bargains and some more memories :) Then we participated in our annual downtown Christmas parade, another family favorite tradition. It was truly a time to be thankful for all that God has blessed us with both in the obvious and the not so obvious ways over the past year. Then we come upon December. The twins had their first acting debut at our church in Angel Alert! They were awesome and I was so proud of them. I'll post pictures soon :) Austin sprained his left ankle and had to be told that he would be out of basketball for the season... tough blow for my guy. Kendra continues to juggle school (both home and at the public school), a job, friends and her boyfriend of almost two years :). As for us, well we had been living in a bit of uncertainty since October. We were looking at moving to a home in Vassalboro that friends of ours owned and had mentioned to us that they would like to have us live there. We were so excited! Finally a home with enough room for all of us and some land to run and play on too! Did I also mention that it is 2 miles from my best friend and her parents who have adopted my kids as their grandchildren? Could it get any better... we didn't think it could! Well, as of the first of December, we still didn't know where we would be celebrating Christmas. Would we be at the apartment for one more Christmas or would we be in our new home to celebrate? Only a few more weeks of waiting would tell us for sure. The weekend BEFORE Christmas (those of you who have known me long enough know this had to have put me over the edge...)we moved into our new home! What an answer to prayer! We celebrated Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, and New Years Day all in our new home with lots of room for entertaining our friends and family. I felt so very blessed and happy... God's timing is perfect even when we can't see it or feel it.
So there you have it... we are all settled in for the most part, and loving our new home. We are back into the swing of things such as school and appointments, music lessons and sports. And even though we don't know much more about our future then we did back in Novemeber, we did learn that God is stepping out in front of us and preparing the way and that is something to take comfort in no matter what.
Thanks for catching up with us! My time in between posts won't be so long anymore... I promise!

Bloggin' and Bakin'

Ok, so I am a bloggin' slacker.... I am so disappointed in my lack of blogging as of late so please forgive me for not keeping you all posted on the latest happenings. I have lots to say but not too much time to write today as I am actually really busy with Thanksgiving preparations. But to let you all know, I am better than my last post! Emotionally, spiritually, physically... well working on that again :) but all around better. Please check back in a couple of weeks for a full story (bring a cup of tea or coffee with you, it might take a while) of where God has taken me these last few months and the journey that I have been on.

For today though, I am happy and thankful to have a day to spend with some of my favorite kids, MINE! We are cleaning and baking for my favorite holiday of the year... Thanksgiving! We have much to be thankful for and today is one of the days I am most thankful for! So my kitchen will be busy and messy and my kids will be loud and excited, but this momma's heart will be full and happy and so very Thankful!