Valentine's Day

Five years ago today my mom was taken from this earth of pain and heartache to go and live with her heavenly Father. Every day I miss her more than I ever thought possible. She was truly my best friend and genuinly loved me unconditionally. What a treasure she was to me, Frank,  and to our children. I was the baby of the family so we had lots of time together, just her and I, after all the kids were gone from the house and we had a special bond that will never be replaced. There is a part of me that is grateful that she is being spared from some of the pain that is here on this earth. I knew her too well to know that some of the choices that people in her life are now making would simply destroy here and there could lie some of the reason that God took her home to be with Him, to spare her of any more pain from these people here. Who knows the reasons, other than the Almighty?! She is thrilled to be in the presence of her Jesus, I know this without one doubt. And as I get older and I see more about what is here on this earth for me, I see the increased joy of the thought of being in God's presence.  How nice to have something like that to look forward to!

Mom, today more than others, we miss you oh so much. I miss the calls, and the visiting, how you made every day a special day with unexpected cards and notes, just to tell me you love me and how proud you are of me. To just get one more of those, would be an irreplaceable gift. For now, I treasure the box of cards, notes, and pictures that we have of you with the kids, that I did keep and take them out and share them with your grandchildren from time to time and they really love them, so thank you again! Happy Valentine's Day mom, may you have the love of Jesus all around you on this day, and know that I will see you one day too and wrap my arms around you!

Happy Birthday to you, Mom!

Today is the day! My mom would have been celebrating her 71st birthday today!  Happy Birthday mom!! 

We all love you and miss you so very much mom. And today more than ever the void and hole that you left in my heart is a little bit bigger and much more open and vulnerable.  That hole opens and closes depending on the day and time, but todays its wide open still wondering why. 

I love you mom and miss you more than anyone would ever 

know!  Hugs and Kisses from earth sent to you there in Heaven.  Mwah!!

Thank you God for my children....

Yesterday was just plain awful. One of those days that you just want to erase from the calendar and your life... ick! All three of my boys picked up on my more than usual quietness and that my eyes were more teary than usual. This morning while they were getting dressed, I was walking towards their room to give them their clean laundry and I stopped outside the door as I heard my oldest son, Austin telling the twins; "ok, guys we need to cheer mommy up today. She is really sad and we need to make her feel better. Lets be sure to be good today and to say lots of I love you's to her. And tell her that she looks pretty too, that makes her smile." Then the twins started in, with " yeah and if we tell her that she is a good teacher, she likes that. And when we kiss her she smiles alot. And if we do our school work without fooling around she doesn't get madder (Cam) LOL." This went on for a couple of minutes and then I walked away thank God for these blessings that he gave to me and crying again but this time tears of joy! 

Thermometer or Thermostat?

Which one are you? Ok, I know, crazy question and do you know how to answer it? I didn't either until the question was posed to me this past week in my quiet time. In light of the new year and the decision to make some changes in my life, spiritual, physically and emotionally;  I am reading a book in my quiet time about God's Power to change my life.  What an eye opener for me! But back to my original question. So that you can answer the question for yourselves, let me explain them both a little more.

A thermostat, controls the temperature. It influences its environment; it sets the standard. A thermometer registers the temperature. It simply reflects its environment, whether its hot or cold. Which are you a - a thermostat or a thermometer? Are we content to just be a thermometer, simply registering the coldness and bitterness all around us, or are we willing to become God's thermostat in our own homes and lives? As women, moms, wives, and friends we can make the choice to be used as God's thermostat and provide His warm love to all that we meet if we make that choice!  Hmmmmmm.....

Blessings!

The things a little boy can remind you of...

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Tonight I had one of those moments that God sent me a little reminder in the form of my little boy Colby and I just had to blog before I forgot it.

We were driving to Kendra's basketball game and an ambulance, and two fire trucks were coming towards us in the opposite direction. Colby says to me, "Mom we should follow them, someone might be hurt." I quickly explained to him that there was no need for me to follow them since there was nothing that we could do for them. He cam right back at me and said, " well we could pray for them." Ouch! A lesson relearned from my little 7 year old. And so we did right there in the car, prayed for whomever was involved.

I sure do love this little man and his great BIG heart for God!!

It's a brand new year!

"Happy" 2009???

It is the beginning of a brand new year; 2009, wow, where did the time go. Our parents used to tell us that time goes by way to fast and it hasn't been all that long that I have started to believe them. You may notice that I put the word happy in quotes above. Already this year, we have seen two tragedies in our church family. Both families have lost family members. It's really hard for me to say happy new year at this time. My family, friends and I are holding these precious people close to our aching hearts and praying for God's comfort to be upon them at this very difficult time. It's so hard for me to know what God's plans are when it comes to most things, but certainly this. I know his plans are sovereign but it is so hard to understand that at a time like this. Faith, it's really all one has. Please join me inpraying for these families in the next couple of weeks and months ahead.

On a much lighter note, the Johnson family is excited to head into the new year! Frank tells me this is going to be a great year for us and I believe him in spite of what is going on around us. It's a milestone year for us. Frank and I will celebrate 15 years of marriage in May! I am so blessed to be the woman that Frank chose to spend his life with! He is such an amazing man and God certainly is blessing our marriage. Kendra, is turning 16 this year. Takings drivers education, getting a job, and becoming such an incredible young woman. Austin is going to turn 12 this year, his last year of being a non-teen! He leaves recreations sports this fall and moves onto Jr. High sports, wow! Time is flying and his height reminds me of how quickly I will be looking eye to eye with him or maybe even up at him soon :) He is still a quiet boy with a sensitive spirit and I really enjoy our time together. Colby and Cam are turning 8, HOLY COW!!! Talk about time flying by! They are wonderful little boys and so much fun to be around. Very active and full of life (sometimes more than this mom can keep up with) but really a lot of joy in this house comes from them! Frank is continuing going to college at night to work on his machining degree, he should graduate in November 2009 , if all goes as planned. I continue to serve as Children's Ministry Director for our church and I am so looking forward to directing our VBS this year! It's going to be great! Most importantly Frank and I are simply going to be praying and watching for God's direction in our lives. We both want more... more of Him and so as a team, as a couple, we are going to be encouraging and helping each other accomplish more relationship with our heavenly Father. I am excited to see what God has in store for each of us individually and as a couple! I feel like it could be a year of growing in Christ and closer together as husband and wife :)

I am closing this post with a prayer and a verse that I read this week in my devotion time. I pray that this year God is real to you in some way. That some healing will take place in your lives, and that the source of real happiness becomes very much a part of each day for all of us. We aren't guarenteed tomorrow, so live for today... for Him. Don't let a day go by without loving those around you and thanking God for each and everyone. HAPPY 2009!

Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Father God, I love you and I thank you for all that you are and all that you are going to show me this coming year. While I know that some of it may even be painful, I am trusting in You and Your promises that You are always there for me and ready to hold me in your ever loving arms. I ask you to touch my family and my friends in a very real way that you would let them feel your presence and your grace at their times of needs and it would cause a real hunger and thirst for more of You in their lives. Bless my friends and family and thank you for what each and everyone of them adds to my life,. I am so grateful for each of them.

Amen

Father's Love Letter - WARNING!!! A long one, get a cup of tea and enjoy!

It's my most favorite time of the year! I love, love, love this time of the year, ever since I was a little girl, as far back as I can remember! I just love Christmas so much. And now that I have kids of my own, I love it even more. To see it through their eyes is simply amazing to me. They are so excited with the lights and glitter, baking, and yes, presents! But the electricity in the air just from their excitment is enough to keep my mood cheerful and light... well most days.  I have struggled with enjoying the holidays as much since my mom passed away almost 5 years ago. It is still fresh in my mind today, the last Christmas that we spent together. We knew it would be the last, and made so many good memories with my children and I am so grateful for those memories, as are the kids. Kendra and Austin remember them well, and thanks to scrapbooking, Cam and Colby have them too! Nothing can ever make that pain go away for me, but it is less each year and the memories that I have of our time makes me even smile now!

This year I am dealing with a different kind of loss. The loss of a relationship with my earthly dad. He is still here, but due to some choices that he has made, we are no longer a part of his life at this time. It is a grief process that I deal with daily, some better than others. For those of you that know me well, you know that I have always been daddy's little girl and to not have that in my life is simply tearing me apart and question many relationships in my life as well as produce a sense of disbelief in most everything.  Having told you this, let me tell you about my day and show you just how great my Heavenly Father is to me.

This morning started as any other, busy getting ready for work at the church, just like most Wednesdays. It's a busy morning since I need to get school stuff ready for the kids before I go and make sure that they are all set. I needed to get something at the local store on my way to church. I have convinced myself not to do this, but I am a gluten for punishment, I guess, and drove by my dad's house. There on the front porch, I saw my dad and his live in lady were enjoying the morning coffee and paper together and my whole world seemed to crash around me. The tears started to fall and I had no control of them, the rivers opened like a dam and there was no stopping them. I cleaned myself up enough to get to the office without everyone stopping me and asking me what was wrong which in my world only makes it worse since it makes me cry more! I went into my office and started working, after all, work hard and think about anything other than what I had just seen. I needed to do the bulletin board in the Children's Ministry Wing today for the Christmas season and was looking online for a new idea. While I was searching, I came across the video that I will share with you at the end of this blog. This is no mistake, and certainly no coincidence. After you watch the video you will see why this was sent to me today and you might even shed a tear with me or for me! My Heavenly Father is looking for more from me. More love, more time with me, and more relationship. He wants to be my best friend, my comfort, and my favorite person to spend time with. He wants to be my Dad! 

I hope that I haven't bored you too much and that maybe someone else out there can even relate or maybe it explains things about me to you differently. Whatever it does, I hope this video blesses you in a special way today!

Enjoy~