The best part!

After a day of running errands with my littlest one, he speaks up from the back seat. Cam:"Mommy, do you know what is the best part of spending time with you by myself?" Me: "Is it that you get all my attention and don't have to share me?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part? Me: "Is it that we got to have lunch together just you and me?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part?" Me: "Is it that you didn't have to fight with anyone for the middle seat?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part?" Me: "No baby, I guess you will have to tell me." Cam: "You don't know what is the best part? It's you.. you're the best part!"
Yeah, he's got my heart!!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Momma! Friday, February 5th came and we would celebrate my mom's birthday. No matter how hard I prepare myself... still this day comes and hits me like a full ton of bricks. You see, my Mom was my best friend. She taught me so many great things in her lifetime, which you should know, was too short. One of the things that she did was make a big, I mean, huge deal about birthdays and holidays! I love it! It is one of the many things that I have passed down to my own family. So, in light of that we celebrate my mom's birthday even though she has been gone from this earth for almost 6 years. Let me set the scene of the day for you.
My wonderful, sweet, sensitive - knows me better than I know myself - soul mate; took the day off from work. Because he knows me so well, he knew that even though I thought I was fine, I wouldn't be. The morning came and I awoke with a deep sense of sadness. Like someone was sitting on my chest. Before my first tear hit my pillow, my sweetie rolled over, put me in his arms and let the tears fall right onto his chest. He truly is the best tear-catcher ever! Once there were no more tears left in me, we started our day. I tried to keep the day as normal as possible for the kids. It is so hard on them to see me upset. Sweetie was able to help with homeschooling. I'm not sure if it was more of a treat for him or the kids??? Either way, I had a break and the kids had a substitute teacher! We made a cake for mom. The kids all had their own way of remembering. My sixteen year old princess was quiet, yet a little more clingy and lovey. My twelve year old man, was very protective and watched quietly like a cat from whatever room I was in. The terrific twins spent lots of time looking through scrapbooks looking at their Mimi, wanted to know more and more about her. We then went outside and released balloons to heaven, a tradition that I have done every year with my kids since that first year without her. Complete with a rendition of Happy Birthday and a prayer from my littlest one asking God to watch over his Mimi and to make sure that she was happy with Him, since she would have been happy here with us, it must be really great there with Him!
So, happy 72nd birthday my mother, my best friend, my confidant, my hero! You are so very missed <3>

Its true I am a blog stalker!

Ok, so I have to confess I have become quite the blog stalker and even been known to steal from time to time... from blogs!
I love to read blogs.. well written ones anyway. I was trying to figure out where this sudden obsession came from and I realized that it really isn't that sudden at all. I have always enjoyed a good cooking blog looking for new meal ideas and ways to do things in the kitchen differently. I enjoy reading my friends blogs to keep up with their families and the latest happenings. Lately though I have been all about blogs to do with decorating spaces. Since I have a new home to decorate I am so enticed by well written decorating blogs. I love the country/rustic look and my new home will handle that style well. Lots of ideas have come from some well written ladies all over the country who sadly enough we will probably never meet. My other blog stalking obsession is coming from a new hobby of mine, wines. I have always enjoyed a great glass of wine, but in the last six weeks or so my enjoyment has led itself into a thirst for the knowledge of wine and what wines are good with what dish, where are the best wines from, etc... My friend PB over at the Wine Cask Blog is a wonderful and vast pool of information and I am grateful to have his opinions and his blog at my disposal.
Blogs are wonderful and you can stalk in your comfies, with a glass of wine, and if you don't like your new acquaintance you can just click away and there are no hard feelings. In the off chance you find a great blog you can stalk away and no one looks at you like your a creeper... unless of course its your teenage daughter or husband who sees that you have spent well over an hour on a certain blog!

Here I am!

Sigh... contentment. I am sitting here in our new home in an overstuffed chair, in front of the fireplace, drinking a cup of tea, snuggled up with a new throw I received for Christmas while I finally get the chance to come back to one of my great loves, writting in my blog. I have missed this so much.



Lots of things have happened since I last wrote. I just looked back at my blog and I last blogged in November of 2009.... that was two and a half months ago, how did that happen? I know how it happened but let me catch you up on what has been going on with the Johnson family. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and really enjoyed our little family. Our Thanksgiving festivities have changed alot over the last six years since my mom passed away. Lots of family members have left us either through death or by choice. That part sadens me. However, God has brought some new family and friends into our lives and we are so very blessed and happy. We went on our annual black Friday shopping day and enjoyed some bargains and some more memories :) Then we participated in our annual downtown Christmas parade, another family favorite tradition. It was truly a time to be thankful for all that God has blessed us with both in the obvious and the not so obvious ways over the past year. Then we come upon December. The twins had their first acting debut at our church in Angel Alert! They were awesome and I was so proud of them. I'll post pictures soon :) Austin sprained his left ankle and had to be told that he would be out of basketball for the season... tough blow for my guy. Kendra continues to juggle school (both home and at the public school), a job, friends and her boyfriend of almost two years :). As for us, well we had been living in a bit of uncertainty since October. We were looking at moving to a home in Vassalboro that friends of ours owned and had mentioned to us that they would like to have us live there. We were so excited! Finally a home with enough room for all of us and some land to run and play on too! Did I also mention that it is 2 miles from my best friend and her parents who have adopted my kids as their grandchildren? Could it get any better... we didn't think it could! Well, as of the first of December, we still didn't know where we would be celebrating Christmas. Would we be at the apartment for one more Christmas or would we be in our new home to celebrate? Only a few more weeks of waiting would tell us for sure. The weekend BEFORE Christmas (those of you who have known me long enough know this had to have put me over the edge...)we moved into our new home! What an answer to prayer! We celebrated Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, and New Years Day all in our new home with lots of room for entertaining our friends and family. I felt so very blessed and happy... God's timing is perfect even when we can't see it or feel it.
So there you have it... we are all settled in for the most part, and loving our new home. We are back into the swing of things such as school and appointments, music lessons and sports. And even though we don't know much more about our future then we did back in Novemeber, we did learn that God is stepping out in front of us and preparing the way and that is something to take comfort in no matter what.
Thanks for catching up with us! My time in between posts won't be so long anymore... I promise!

Bloggin' and Bakin'

Ok, so I am a bloggin' slacker.... I am so disappointed in my lack of blogging as of late so please forgive me for not keeping you all posted on the latest happenings. I have lots to say but not too much time to write today as I am actually really busy with Thanksgiving preparations. But to let you all know, I am better than my last post! Emotionally, spiritually, physically... well working on that again :) but all around better. Please check back in a couple of weeks for a full story (bring a cup of tea or coffee with you, it might take a while) of where God has taken me these last few months and the journey that I have been on.

For today though, I am happy and thankful to have a day to spend with some of my favorite kids, MINE! We are cleaning and baking for my favorite holiday of the year... Thanksgiving! We have much to be thankful for and today is one of the days I am most thankful for! So my kitchen will be busy and messy and my kids will be loud and excited, but this momma's heart will be full and happy and so very Thankful!

Its a Roller Coaster season!

Yeah, so this picture sums up my life and my emotions better than I could describe it. Our family is on one heck of a ride these days and it just so happens that today I seem to be able to blog about it without crying my way through it. So, it appears today or at least for the moment, its going to be a good day :)

Its a season of change for us here in the Johnson family. We are waiting on some new housing, a job that seemed stable has cut back on hours, belts have been tightened, kids are growing up and stretching their wings, independance, and boundaries, a marriage has been challenged, and relationships have been strained. Through it all, I am reminded daily of God's constant love for me and for my family. As hard as things are right now, I know that He is there. I also know that I am being taught some really hard lessons right now and I only find comfort in knowing that He is my rock and my Savior. There have been days and more than I can count actually as of late, where I have questioned how we are even going to make it out of the situation of the moment. God has been faithful in providing all of our needs. I am quickly learning the difference between wants and needs in this season of change. I am learning that people who might have a small space in my world are some of the one's who have been the most faithful in uplifting me in prayer and sending cards and calling to check in on me. I am humbled by a friend who stopped in to see me at work, to find me at one of my lowest points and get on her knees with me and cry with me before our God. I am grateful and thankful to have a man to walk down this road with me, carrying me because I can't seem to put another foot in front of the other some days. I am proud of a husband and a father who will work another part time job doing a mundane dirty job for a little bit of money to help out where his regular full time job has left us needing more. I am a grateful mommy who came home from a meeting to find three cards made for her letting her kow how much she is loved and how sad they are that I am having a hard time right now.

I am learning so much right now about myself and my abilities. I am seeing people in a new light, if you will and finding out how strong relationships really are. God is revealing Himself to me daily as I seek direction and peace. He means it when He tells us to seek Him and to look for Him and He will reveal Himself to us.

I pray that the next time I get the chance to blog, I will have new things to share and new blessings to tell you about! In the mean time, remember us in your prayer time and be thankful to Him for how He is using you.

Sweet surrender, difference between faith and trust, and other lessons to be learned

As a homeschooling mom, I am well aware of how important lessons are. You can't just teach a piece of something here or a part of something else there. You need the whole lesson to learn the complete concept. Well, that's where I am with my walk with God right now. In the midst of some lessons. Like teaching my children, they aren't all fun and games either. Actually most of them are not fun at all.
Earlier this summer, I committed to working on complete surrender of my life to God. For those of you who know me, know that this is a task for me since I am a control freak. While I have come a long way in this commitment, I am so not there yet. I do make it a daily prayer that I could give it all over to him, all my worries, frustrations, and struggles.. the good and the bad. It and I am a work in progress. Better than before, but oh so long a road to go!
I am studying the difference between having faith and trust. It is a good study and I am learning alot, mostly about myself, but also what the word of God has to say about faith. Maybe another blog soon about this as it has a lot of content and I have lots of thoughts on it. Not at a complete conclusion though, so I'll leave it at that. In case you were wondering, I have concluded that there is a definite difference.
Right now, today, I am having to leave a lot to God. We have so many uncertainties in our life and I am really having a hard time with it. I am a A type personality and I like my plans made in advance and all my ducks in a row, so to say. There are things that we are waiting on and dealing with that truly only the Lord of the Universe knows anything about. Very hard for me. I am anxious, sleep deprived, and on edge because of it and I am waiting on the Lord to reveal His plans to us.
The one thing I know for certain is that God loves us and wants what is best for our family. I need to rest in that and try to relax and be patient. Lets hope my eyes and ears are open more than they were yesterday so that He can show me my tomorrow!