Thursday, February 25, 2010

Simply thankful....

This morning while sitting and having my tea, Colby walks by me and announces to his daddy and I that his heart is so thankful this morning. I looked at him and said, "Why baby?" Thinking he must be talking about the $3.00 the "tooth fairy" left him last night... Oh no, he says, "For my family, and my friends, for my comfort, and for God creating me." {{Insert beaming, teary-eyed mommy here}}
Thank you Lord, for a quick reminder to be grateful for the things in life we so easily take for granted!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Man, when he is on the job... its full force ahead!

Holy crap! Look out.... he's busy! By he, I mean Satan a.k.a the devil himself. I have been listening to close friends and family and knowing that he is on the move, but yesterday he attacked me and hit me so hard, it dropped me to my knees and quickly.
I made the decision last week to get back to getting healthy again. I had taken a 5-6 month hiatus... not really watching what I was eating, exercising when it fit in (not very often), and feeding my emotions. This left me feeling tired, cranky, jealous, and sick. I did really well through the weekend, which included a weekend away with 10 other adults. Junk food was everywhere and meals included bagels, pizza and spaghetti, ugh!!! But previous planning allowed me to bring things to eat that were better choices and I wasn't really hungry so the temptation stayed at bay. This is the part where I need to give props to my girls over at the PWLFA( you know who you are(: ) they prayed me through the whole weekend! Anyway, all this to say that I was off to a good start!
Yesterday, I woke up feeling good, even pleased with myself. Very confident with my choices and how the weekend went. I had a great quiet time with God, really good breakfast choices and homeschooling went well. Then it crashed... I jumped on the Wii for the first time in months. Trying to mix some things up, I got the wii fit out and jumped on the balance board which weighs you and does your BMI... I gained quite a bit of my weight back and my BMI was back up. I felt all the air release out of my body like the air out of a balloon. Still I grabbed my determination and got to work. Forty-five minutes later, I finished my aerobics and sat down at the computer to drink a big glass of water and catch up with friends on FB. There staring at me in my face was a picture from the weekend of me on the beach with my sweetheart... and the only thing I could say was "Oh my God". Not meant to be disrespectful to my heavenly Father, truly a cry out to God! I was so appalled at what was staring back at me, that I dropped into a heap on the floor in tears. Why should I bother? I have so much weight to lose, so much exercise to do. I immediately fell back into a deep hatred for myself and started frantically looking for answers to gastric bypass surgery, the only fix I could think of. I didn't come up with any answers and finished the day in a glummy funk to which my dear family had to contend with all night. My poor husband!
I woke up this morning feeling sad again but not as bad. Then I looked back at yesterday and realized something good happened... I didn't feed my emotions. I stayed on track and didn't overeat! That is a huge accomplishment. I never would have done that in the past. So, I have rededicated my efforts. Today is a new day and God has my hand. I asked Him to take Satan away from me and guide my hunger, my efforts and my mind. Together we will cause Satan to stand in the unemployment line :)

Monday, February 22, 2010


If you have never had the chance to walk the beach at night (yes, even in February... in Maine) and look at the ocean and the stars in the night time......... you definitely need to do it!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The best part!

After a day of running errands with my littlest one, he speaks up from the back seat. Cam:"Mommy, do you know what is the best part of spending time with you by myself?" Me: "Is it that you get all my attention and don't have to share me?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part? Me: "Is it that we got to have lunch together just you and me?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part?" Me: "Is it that you didn't have to fight with anyone for the middle seat?" Cam: "Nope. Do you know what is the best part?" Me: "No baby, I guess you will have to tell me." Cam: "You don't know what is the best part? It's you.. you're the best part!"
Yeah, he's got my heart!!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Momma! Friday, February 5th came and we would celebrate my mom's birthday. No matter how hard I prepare myself... still this day comes and hits me like a full ton of bricks. You see, my Mom was my best friend. She taught me so many great things in her lifetime, which you should know, was too short. One of the things that she did was make a big, I mean, huge deal about birthdays and holidays! I love it! It is one of the many things that I have passed down to my own family. So, in light of that we celebrate my mom's birthday even though she has been gone from this earth for almost 6 years. Let me set the scene of the day for you.
My wonderful, sweet, sensitive - knows me better than I know myself - soul mate; took the day off from work. Because he knows me so well, he knew that even though I thought I was fine, I wouldn't be. The morning came and I awoke with a deep sense of sadness. Like someone was sitting on my chest. Before my first tear hit my pillow, my sweetie rolled over, put me in his arms and let the tears fall right onto his chest. He truly is the best tear-catcher ever! Once there were no more tears left in me, we started our day. I tried to keep the day as normal as possible for the kids. It is so hard on them to see me upset. Sweetie was able to help with homeschooling. I'm not sure if it was more of a treat for him or the kids??? Either way, I had a break and the kids had a substitute teacher! We made a cake for mom. The kids all had their own way of remembering. My sixteen year old princess was quiet, yet a little more clingy and lovey. My twelve year old man, was very protective and watched quietly like a cat from whatever room I was in. The terrific twins spent lots of time looking through scrapbooks looking at their Mimi, wanted to know more and more about her. We then went outside and released balloons to heaven, a tradition that I have done every year with my kids since that first year without her. Complete with a rendition of Happy Birthday and a prayer from my littlest one asking God to watch over his Mimi and to make sure that she was happy with Him, since she would have been happy here with us, it must be really great there with Him!
So, happy 72nd birthday my mother, my best friend, my confidant, my hero! You are so very missed <3>